Pushing the Buggy

Dear Loyal Followers,

2012-02-09T17:55:00.000-08:00

I have now realized that everyday someone checks my blog, either a new person who found my blog through a search or key word or many of you who were regular followers who are just curious as to what that heck is going on around here?

So this update is for you.

Yes I am knee deep in figuring out this working mom of 3 thing, while trying to do well at being a mother, a wife, a sister, a friend, and a good employee because contrary to my behaviour and my dishevelled appearence some days. I still want to be a good if not a spectacularily great employee.

For home I am knee deep in mothering an 8yr old child with a physical disability, who is starting to get real frustrated with it. on top of the fact that recent testing has revealed an additional vision problem that has likely been the root cause of his falling behind in his reading.

A sweet 5.5 year old girl who loves dressing in "fashion" and wants me to curl her poker straight hair everyday for school (not enough time in the whole for that one baby)

A gorgeous 21 month old tasmanian devil of a boy who loves to pull every.single. pot or pan or baking dish or tupperware container out of the cupboards EVERY. SINGLE. DAY! oh yeah did I mention before 6AM...yes that's correct 6AM! OY

A darling husband who continues to ask me if I'm sure we can't swing HOMESCHOOLING our kids cause he thinks that would be what is best for them. huh?? I can tell you right now me being home with all me kids every. single. day! Will not be good for ANYONE!

My work is crazy busy as we are ticking down to some SIGNIFICANT deadlines, nothing like a little pressure to get the creative juices flowing. Add that to the pressures of conflicting priorities and volia, not enough coffee in the world right now!

So instead I came here to procrasinate a little more and give y'all a little update.

I'm sure I will be back more often as I really feel the need to get things out of my head right now to clear the space for what I really need to get done.

Cheers

Is it possible???

2011-08-17T05:38:00.000-07:00

Could it really be 5 months since I last posted to my blog?? Unbelieveable. When I last posted I had just successfully negotiated a new position with an organization I am very passionate about.

I am now working with a Family Network organization that supports families of children with Special needs.

We offer a Parent Mentoring program where we match families with similar situations, who share their knowledge and experience and support each other through these experiences. We also coordinate several seminars and workshops based on topics requested by parent.

it is a very exciting time and I am so happy to be a part of it.

I will try to update more often.

since all this change, I am having a hard time taking of the baby weight from last May....so I think that will be part of my focus for the next little while is getting my health under control.

Hope you are all doing well!

Sometimes you have to be greatful

2011-03-16T12:33:00.000-07:00

Sometimes all the points of your life intersect and you realize everything in your life up to now has given you the skills, experience and attitude for something great to happen.

Yeah me. I am so greatful for all my past experiences!

More later

Holy Shit Guys I'm Published!

2011-03-04T18:08:00.000-08:00

I know this is 2 posts in one day! Freaky.

Check it out. HERE
Leave a comment.

So exciting!

thanks guys

On the path to Fit

2011-03-04T17:22:00.000-08:00

As you know we had the FLU. I know... it's all i have been talking about. It was cruel, it was awful.

Silver lining...I lost 7 lbs. I'm sure some of it was muscle mass, but the jeans were looser people.

This was a nice surprise. although I should not have been surprised, since I was eating nothing but soup for 10 days and drinking tonnes of water and taking vitamins....hey wait aminute this is starting to sound like eating healthy.

So I said to myself...SELF...just keep going. So I did. I haven't lost any more weight in the past 2 weeks but I haven't gained any either, which is great since i was re-introducing FOOD for God's Sake. Carbs, Also, I had a weak moment around March 1st our RRSP deadline here in Cananda and my busiest time of year...and i happened to bump into a box of three Cadbury Easter Cream Eggs. BLAM, GONE...IN MY BELLY! oops.

But I am starting with breakfast and tried to have a great breakfast everyday this week and did pretty good except for Wednesday when I swear the children were plotting against me.

Some Oatmeal, and a protein smoothie with bananas and blueberries, YUM.

next week I will try for breakfast and a healthy balanced, "clean" snack.

I got this shit!

Recovery

2011-02-19T08:31:00.000-08:00

Holy cow!
5 sick people equals not a very good 10 days in our household.

Fevers, chills, sore throats, aches and pains.

It has not been much fun.

We are on the mend and using this Family Day weekend to rest, recovery and take it easy. Catch up on all the laundry and cleaning to get this sickness the hell out of my house!

It was a tough 10 days of juggling work, child care, sick kids, homework and food.

If I never eat soup again it won't hurt my feelings. That's all anyone wanted and we went through all the soup in the cupboard and all the soup broth and noodles I keep in the pantry to make homemade soup.

One Bonus: a jump start to weight loss, I think I lost about 7 lbs from my soup eating.

Of course the poor baby got it last and he is still not very happy. Which means I must end this blog post to go comfort him.

Poor guy!

Hope everyone else is well and enjoying their family day weekend.

What the Hell Batman.

2011-02-11T17:40:00.000-08:00

What is it that happens to men when the women gets sick.

Today my husband was I'll say righteously indignant, I think I am using the words correctly. Another way to put it would be total ASSHOLE.

I have had the flu for 2.5 days now. This morning as I wake up with a splitting headache, he choses to rag on my about how HARD this is for him to do EVERYTHING.

QUOI? Pardonez Moi? Que? ahhhassholesayswhat?

I'm sorry did you just say how hard it is to not just be able to get up for work have a shower make your lunch and leave??? Well... I Never>

he proceeded to rag on my that I have not been taking care of myself, eating properly, exercising enough or getting enough sleep. And that I need to get my act together because he can't afford for me to be sick.

Again Qu-est que what the fuck?? and... OH.NO.YOU.DIDNT!

As I melted on to the floor (which was all the strength I had to do) I managed to squeak out "Anytime you would like to help me achieve any of those things. I would greatly appreciate it. Because you're right I have not been doing any of those things because I have been too busy taking care of 3 tiny whiners and ONE BIG FAT ONE." And then I thought to myself, now get the fuck out of my house before I summon the strength to get off the floor and kick you in the balls for being an idiot.

Now I suspect that some of this behaviour stems from the fact that he fell asleep on the couch last night and got Fuck all done around the house so he was feeling bad about that, and he probably did not sleep well on the couch which made him grouchy.

But when I got my wits together and called him at 10 o'clock I let him know that he needed to get his shit together because kicking a girl when she is down is NOT COOL. Especially when she is the one who washes your underwear!

Suck it!

Guilt and Sickness

2011-02-10T06:15:00.000-08:00

Which comes first?
I am so sick today. Fever, chills, cough (which is so nasty I am almost puking)body aches and pains. This is crazy. I am missing work today. Yesterday my boss was so kind and sent me home an hour early so I could get some rest and although it helped I awoke this morning feeling like crap. I tried everything I threw all kinds of meds at it. Day quill, some electrolytes, vitamins. But just getting the boy ready for school today I broke out in a fantastic sweat and then was shaking with the chills when I went to drop him off.

I feel guilty because I was just sick three weeks ago when the flue ripped through our house, I was off for 2 days for the kids and a day for myself.

I am trying to eat well and take vitamins everyday to help. I have been forgoing the laundry (except the very basics) to get a few hours extra sleep at night and I still keep catching whatever the kids are bringing home from school.

I know I shouldn't feel bad but I do.

I know this is just a bad winter and everything will be better soon. But seriously, I cook good meals with lots of veggies, we all eat lots of fruit and I make the kids fantastic healthy lunches. Why can't we fight this stuff off.

This has just been such a bad year of getting sick for us. Its driving me crazy.

Anyone else missing lots of work due to family and then self illness??

Job Satisfaction

2011-02-06T14:36:00.001-08:00

What is job satisfaction?

Am I satisfied in my current job? Yes, the work is familiar yet I learn something new everyday. I am competent in my job so I easily know and feel I am doing a good job. I have great hours that work around my family, I can drop the kids off at school and pick them up from school. I have a little time to myself everyday for lunch. There are no benefits which sucks, and I am making less money per hour. The people that I work for are good, solid honest people. they are understanding and forgiving and flexible. There is a career path that comes with this job that is achievable for me and will allow me to build a base for my own business in the future, affording me the flexibility that I want to work and be there for my family.

Why do I still find myself scanning the want ads? Do some habits just die hard?? I have been looking for a dream job for so many years now, I think I am having trouble NOT looking.

Actually I wasn't looking, A job posting was SENT to me.

It is a dream job, to help families with a child with special needs find the resources they need within the community. It is a small organization and I would have to wear many hats, volunteer co-ordination, fundraising.

It's crazy I came off my Maternity Leave early to take my current job. I have only been working with this company for a few months.

But I am going to throw my hat in the ring and see what happens. This job jsut seems like it would be such an awesome experience to learn and grow and help others who are going through what we are going through in our community.

Lord help me if I get to the point where I have to consider a job offer and decide what to do.

Hacked

2011-02-04T11:08:00.000-08:00

So last week, the flu swept through my household like the snow through Dallas. hard Fast and stayed for awhile. First my oldest, then the girl child, my hubby and by day 4 I was not feeling so shit hot myself.

Enter mysterious phone call that I should have known better then to entertain. However, when someone tells you they are doing a customer service call because a virus has been downloaded during your recent internet activity and since I had just finished downloading a series of lectures for a course I am taking and the baby was screaming in my ear and the oldest was lying on the couch moaning I took the call.

After all this little laptop had been my steadfast portal to sanity.

Needless to say in my moment of weekness I actually let them log on to my computer before I twigged that JARS SUPPORT was a total and complete SCAM.

Therefore full panic mode ensued and an emergency Blackberry message went out to all my IT people and a quick call to the Police and the Better Business Bureau. My day went to SHIT in a hurry. Thankfully, the IT guy we use at work took pity on me since he had actually received the same call from these guys and knew they were pretty harmless. He did a quick check on my laptop to make sure nothing had been downloaded and he deleted the program they used to log into my computer and he didn't have to destroy, delete, or uninstall and reinstall anything. he is my new hero.

However I had to spend 4.5 days with out my baby, my portal to sanity. My poor Blackberry took a beating. I am used to monitoring my bank account daily. I went insane.

Needless to say all is well. and those guys from JARS better not call back because if they get me when I'm on my A game I am going to lose my shit!

People who prey on other people....SUCK!

Have a nice day!

s

Excited or Tired???

2011-01-19T18:27:00.000-08:00

I am on a roller coaster these days.

The new job is great, learning lots, but it is requiring ALOT of focus and discipline that I have not had to exert for a few years. I am tired.

One of my babysitters called in sick and I spent the better part of last night trying to co-ordinate with the 2 other sitters piece together 6.5 hours of coverage for the baby. Then I spend another hour phoning a few people and doing telephone interviews and setting up appointments for a new sitter so I have a better back up plan. I am tired.

My studying for my CFP course is not going well I have 6 weeks and 4 modules quizzes to take before my final at the end of February. I am tired.

The kids have had annual check ups with every medical personnel known to man, doctor, dentist, optometrists, physiotherapy, occupational therapy. I am tired.

I feel like blogging again and writing and getting my thoughts out of my head. This is exciting.

I posed an idea and was asked if I would like to contribute to the blog of a new website going up. This is exciting.

I feel good about my family, my job, my career. This is exciting.

I hit a real slump from about 4:30 to 7:30 everyday. by 8pm I finally feel like doing something but know I need to wind down because the baby will be up at 5;30am.

Balance is getting closer. The pendulum is not swinging so hard. I'm starting to find a rhythem.

Cerebral Palsy 101

2011-01-17T18:04:00.000-08:00

So I had a little shit fit the other day. The boy child has been complaining about having a sore back for a few weeks. At first I thought is was due to a busy day at school or the fact that we slacked off his therapy schedule over the holidays and he was just sore after getting back into our routine.

So finally when I had a few minutes I decided I should take a closer look.

I had him come stand in front of me and do some of his stretches and then I had him bend over while I took a look at his spine.

In my next breath I gasped, and tears immediately filled my eyes. I swear to you I could see a curve on his spine. It was right there staring at me. In an instant the painful teenage years of my brother came flooding back to me. The back brace, the body casts and the eventual surgery that had a steel rod (Harrington rod) fused to his spine. The fact that now twenty years later, his scoliosis is so strong he actually has a curve in the steel rod and nobody knows what to do about it.

I swear to you it was there. I could not get through to my doctor, so I called a dear friend of our who is an Osteopath (who has helped us out on many occassions). She could see him. I was not looking for any diagnosis, just a second set of eyes to tell me if she could see what I see and did she think we should visit our doctor.

Thankfully, after a treatment session, where she was able to loosen up his back muscles a bit. We both determined that there was nothing abnormal about his spine.

That day it must have been tension he was holding is his back to keep his balance or the way he was standing on his feet.

I am so very grateful that we do not have to start dealing with the added bonus of another condition so far.

Life with Cerebral Palsy is tricky most of the time and just when you think you have stuff under control it throws you a curve ball just to keep you on your toes.
:)

Post Traumatic Stress Headache

2011-01-12T13:00:00.000-08:00

Oh My God Y'all
I am TERRIFIED of the dentist. So much so that I have not been to the dentist since...well let's just say OVER a decade.

You see I have a small mouth. PAUSE (my friends are all on the floor laughing....hang on they'll be another minute)

Okay Small mouth riiiight>

I also am the genetic recipient of a rare condition where for several of my teeth I grew three (3) sets of teeth (1 baby, 2 adult)

I only have 24 teeth. Right now... in my head....this second. For real!

if you are following along you may have come to the realization that I am missing some teeth. several.... LOTS to be exact.

THEY (my parents and dentist)knew early on that I would have "issues" in a bid to help my teeth grow in properly 4 of my baby teeth were pulled to make "room".

Of course there was no room and couple that with the few extras I was growing and between the ages of 8-18 I had 13 adult teeth removed..YES

FREAKIN 13.... I call BULLSHIT!

Oh and did I mention that my teeth never grew in straight anyway so I had to wear orthodontic braces for 5 years. oh yeah baby it was AWESOME! My eye teeth came in over top of my front teeth. Crazy Ass teeth.

Needless to say by the time I was 23 after a lifetime of one painful detal visit after another, one day I forgot to return the dentist's call for a recall appointment and they never called to re-book my appointment and I certainly did not call them.

I don't really know what snapped in my brain. it's not like I didn't know I SHOULD go to the dentist. I was no longer just afraid of my dentist I was afraid of any dentist. I was afraid to pick up the phone to call a dentist.

This presisted even after I had kids.

My son was 6 years old before the shame of not taking him to the dentist over took my fear of dentists.

It was not a pleasent experience but the hygienist who looked after me took one look in my mouth and said she totally understood why I have not been to the dentist is so long. She empathized with me and said...."Well that could not have been fun"

One look and someone validated my childhood of dental horror.

Silly as it may seem...it kinda made it all better.

It was not as horrible as I thought it would be. I only have one chipped filling and one cavity that has to be fixed.

It will still be a long time before I can handle a dental visit without anxiety,(I have a pounding headache from clenching my jaw and locking it while she was working one me - for only 45 mins) but this new dentist office was certainly a lucky pick for our family.

Oh did I mention I sent my kids first to test out the office and scheduled my appointment after them, once I knew it was okay. Shameful but true.

Whatever gets our family dental care back on track works for me!

Yours in dental health.

Pushing the Buggy.

Trying

2011-01-09T10:35:00.000-08:00

Trying to get back in to some good habits.

Trying to blog everyday again
Trying to exercise (do something) everyday
Trying to eat better everyday (atleast 2 servings of fruit and 2 veggies)
Trying to get in more study time on 2 courses that i am taking
Trying to put my blackberry down
Trying to menu plan for the week
Trying to grocery shop by a list
Trying to pay more attention when my husband is speaking (tough I know blah blah)
Trying to save some money where i can
Trying to enjoy my new job with less hours but also less pay and no benefits
Trying not to be terrified of paying for upcoming dentist bill
Trying to be supportive for friends that really really need it
Trying to build a business plan for my future
Trying to keep up with school homework and activities
Trying to support husband in his choice of volunteer work
Trying to maintain therapy schedule and exercises for the boy child
Trying to enjoy my baby, being a baby
Trying to fix up all the little things around the house that need fixing
Trying to save to fix the big things that need fixing

Trying to keep all the balls in the air.

No wonder I am tired.

2011

2011-01-08T03:32:00.000-08:00

What a year! 2010 was not my favorite year, but i learned so much on the way and even though the journey was tough in the end it worked out.

Lots of changes on the horizon for 2011.

We made the decision for me to quit my cushy job with health benefits and a pension, so that I could take a job closer to home and for fewer hours so I can drop the kids off at school and pick them up, do home work and cook at home. This also made it easier for my Mother in law to continue babysitting for us as it wasn't such a long day for her.

We are hoping we can stay diciplined enough to stick to our new budget which now requires us to put money aside for health care and retirement.

I think this year will be a lot of juggling trying to figure it all out but we should settle into something we can live with soon.

that's all the time i have for now, hope to be back soon and more often.

Filling the Gap

2010-09-27T09:14:00.000-07:00

Time flies when you're having fun.
or
when you are hanging on by your finger nails to every scrap of sanity and reality that may exist.

I spent the summer trying to recover from pregnancy and giving birth. All while trying to entertain my 2 older kids and take care of a newborn who does not believe in any kind of consistent sleep schedule.

I had contact with a friend who abruptly changed our relationship well over a year ago. We exchanged emails as we tried to work through what happened and how or if we can move forward. I'm still not sure what will come of it or what i want to come of it.

I was so looking forward to school starting for a break, but that desperation seemed to paralyze me for at least three weeks as I did very little but sit on the couch and watch T.V. Which in turn only let me gain a few more pounds which is just awesome (NOT).

I sat by my computer and watched a woman's marriage be tested, unravel and then implode in a spectacular event of infidelity and betrayal that I still cannot truly comprehend but yet I know happens all over the world everyday. I feel a kinship with this woman, we have the same sense of humor. We swear ALOT. We love our kids and we both have a fierce determination to make our lives just the way we want them, no matter WHO fucks with it. It makes me happy to exchange with her.

The last week or two I have been feeling better, getting some rest and moving back into some light exercise. My muscles are sore, but it feels good.

I think I am well on my way to making a come back. Good thing too. Because another close friend of mine has a nasty habit of reminding me all the time how many days are left until CHRISTMAS.

HALP!

Comings and Goings

2010-07-08T06:38:00.000-07:00

WOW! This is definately the longest I've gone without posting. Not that I haven't thought about it, it has just been pure chaos around here lately.

Coming into our lives a beautiful baby boy.

Going somewhat peacefully after a long wonderful life our steadfast canine companion of 13 years. He stayed just long enough for our new arrival and then his time came about a week later. Funny how animals are. I still miss him everyday!

ahhhh! speaking of chaos some is happening right now and I will have to post more later!

Moving on...

2010-04-17T12:37:00.000-07:00

I can't believe that I haven't posted in over a month. I don't think I have ever done that before.

Can't believe in a month or so I will have a brand new baby in my arms and all the joy and fun that comes with that.

What a crazy few months this has been. My replacement at work started this week and we got a good block of training underway. I realized that my job is REALLY hard to teach someone that does not have any background in medical terminology, computer software programmed by a bilingual programmer who leaned more to french than english.

the whole F'd up system makes no sense to anyone but people who have worked with it for a year or more. Craziness.

I caught a friggin cold again from my germbag 6yr old. Curses.

I am stuffed up, puffed up and big, bitter and bitchy at this point.

I feel like my belly is going to explode, I'm not getting much sleep and I am working my ass off to prepare my replacement to take over with minimum inconvenience to her.

I can hardly wait to have a year off.

Now all I have to do is push a bowling ball through a baseball sized hole.....GREAT!

Just so you know and maybe its just me......BUT I HAVE NOT FORGOTTEN HOW UNPLEASENT OR PAINFUL CHILDBIRTH IS.....

Who are these women that say you forget all about it??? bitches.

Not looking forward to this ...however I am looking forward to being able to sleep on my back again and then my tummy again. For all that is good and holy.

most of my baby laundry is done and I have a good supply of diapers and wipes, my bags are packed so I think I am prepared as I can be at this point.

the kids are well informed of what will happen and who will be looking after them when the time comes.

All we have to do now is wait.

My first was a week early, my second was three weeks early. I swear to all that is held sacred in this universe and beyond if I go past my due date (may 30th) with this one. I will be one very large UNHAPPY camper. I decided to leave work 3 weeks early just to maybe give myself a few days before the event. If that little break is all my body needs to keep this kid on board I will FREAK OUT.

Although I feel like that baby has shifted and started to settle in my hip a little and I have no lap left whatsoever, and I have had a few contractions already, so I would guess that I am on track to deliver sometime between my due date and a week or two early.

It is snowing again and the kids want to get back to painting so I am out of time.

Until next time.....

What do you believe?

2010-03-07T08:07:00.000-08:00

What we believe about ourselves has such a great impact on our lives.

Awhile ago someone shared some early childhood memories and how that has impacted her life and her relationships.

My heart went out to her, my childhood was really pretty good, lots of love, lots of people, lots of hugs and smiles, nothing overly traumatic.

As I thought of this person often over the week that followed I reflected.

Memories started bubbling up for me. The usual ones, being 2-3 yrs old and getting to skip my nap because I was helping my dad build our backyard pool. Not sure if i actually remember this or if I have heard the story so many times I can picture it in my mind. My most "em bare assing" moment, a gymnastic meet where my uniform did not fit properly and I made the ill decision to forgo underwear and follow my coaches instructions to never touch your suit during your routine, you guessed it 2mins of my bare ass hanging out while I turned cartwheels and danced around a highschool gym infront of a couple hundred of my peers and friends. Traumatic yes at the time, but not horrible in the grand scheme of my life. After finding my Mom and crying for an hour and surviving the next month at school the incident slipped from the social conciousness and I was able to continue on.

Then a few more painful ones like being in grade 7 and having my best friend suddenly and with out explaination deciding she did not want to be my friend anymore. then taking it a step further and trying to turn the entire class against me. Again fairly usual stuff although we never regained our friendship and I realized this memory does effect my current life. Next, Gr 8 when the cast list for our School wide play was posted. Clearly posted for all to see was my name in the title role, erased and written over with another girl's name. I am not good enough. Very painful, very acutely aware that life is not fair. Can't remember much about that, I remember writing about it in my homeroom journal and my Gr 8 teacher (who was directing the play) apologizing to me for the insensitivity. I remember gutting it out and performing my part in the play. Because that's what I do. My parents always said life isn't fair. I remember my mom clearly talking to me saying it is only one more year and then I'll be in highschool and there will be so many more people to choose my friends from.

Needless to say, reflecting on some of these memories made me realize how cautious I am with building friendships today. I am standoffish, I do not share alot about myself, it takes a very long time for me to trust people and I guess I never really do, I subscribe to the "time, reason and season" philosophy for friendship and do not expect my friendships to last EVER. Sooner or later everyone finds a reason to not be my friend anymore. I've stopped trying to figure it out, question it, I just believe that someway, somehow it is me and my fault and I just let it go.

Going one step further, I know that it can be hard to be my friend, I never give people alot to go on. I am usually brutally honest and sometimes I know how much that will affect someone but I say it anyway to try to be heard, to try to get my point across. I can be harsh.

I realized I have a tendancy to latch on to one or two people and forgo building other friendships to avoid being "dumped" by many and only to be hurt by a few. Therefore making me look cliquish, or like a snob.

I am usually not very clear or specific when I need something from a friendship and sometimes over promise on support and under deliver. (my perception)

My point being that reading this persons memories and reflecting on my own memories and what they mean or have meant to me, has given me the opportunity to take some time to decide how to proceed with this aspect of my life.

My general philosopy at this point, my past no longer has the right or priveledge to control my future. I want to have valuable friendships where I feel safe, nurtured and there is equality to the give and take, ebb and flow, I want to be supportive and open and trusting.

Friendships come and go for a variety of reasons, I need to stop the belief that it is always me. It is usually a combination, my logical brain knows this.

I want to thank this person for openly sharing a painful piece of herself. It affected me and has helped me work through a part of my psyche, that will open opportunities for me, that will help me understand more about myself and help me feel better about myself.

I am grateful to her.

A more sugar coated version about beliefs is here.

thanks to this person, you know who you are.
:)

So EARLY

2010-02-13T05:04:00.000-08:00

Oh my goodness.
My darling children....where up at 5:30 AM this morning. What the Hell?? How is this even possible. What would possess them.

Even better, my husband who is the early bird... helping a friend today and had to leave shortly after 6AM.

Icing on the cake, the volume is not working on our TV?

Again I ask you what the hell?

What could possibly happen to our TV from 9:30pm last night when we turned it off, to 5:frickin 30 this morning????

Luckily our basement playroom TV is working so I dressed everyone up warmly and we headed down here to spend the morning. The girl has dance class but I don't think I will be able to get them out of here so I just may skip it for today. I hate doing that but the prospect of fighting with them and bundling them up and sitting in a waiting area for an hour, just does not appeal to me today.

I'm almost 7 months pregnant now and all the aches and pains are starting to kick in. Each week is getting harder and harder to get to the end of. I am really enjoying my weekends where the schedule is not as frenetic and I can rest often which really helps with the back pain, enlarged leg veins and everything else that pops up to piss me off at the wrong time.

I have been spending about 2-3 hours on Sundays cooking for the up coming week and that REALLY has helped us during the week.

Speaking of food I should go get some breakfast for the kids since it's 8am and they are probably getting hungry now.

Have a great weekend!

Here's the scoop.

2010-02-02T08:02:00.000-08:00

I finally have a few minutes to sit down and compose a post just for this blog. I owe it to me to get my thoughts out of my head and free up some space in there. So hang on this could go all over the place I'm not to sure.

First I am finally feeling better, it seems as though the cold and cough have given up and left. I am grateful, however this has left me feeling so far behind. I totally missed January as I was just hanging on for dear life and getting the basics done both at work and at home.

After some quick calculations I realized that I had overspent my monthly grocery budget by almost $500. I want to VOMIT! Now that would be ok if we ate it all but I hate to confess that we threw alot of stuff out because I was too sick to make what I had planned. It was so depressing.

So we are on the menu planning and committment to cooking train. I still overspent on groceries this week. But I am dealing with one issue at a time. The goal this week is to not throw out any perfectly good food!

Also the weekly spending has gone up because I have started buying diapers and formula so that this won't be quite so taxing on our budget once I go on Maternity Leave. Yes I plan on bottle feeding. I had a breast reduction when I was 15 and for anyone counting that was over 20 years ago and let me tell you they just didn't do a real good job back then. Although I will try to breast feed daily, I will not let it rule my life, nor will I subject myself to the bereting of lactation consultants, nurses, or the general public. I will also not subject myself to the painful process of milk coming in and getting "stopped up" in ducts that go no where and cause me unbearable pain. I am 37 years old this is my third child and if you don't like what I am doing, tough shit!

Everyday I wonder how we will make it on a reduced income. This is really perplexing to me since we are in the best financial shape we have ever been in. I mean we actually have an emergency savings account? So I keep asking myself, why are you worrying so much.

I suppose the answer is I am afraid we may have to cut or sacrifice a few things, like EGAD the data plan on my Blackberry yikes. I'm not sure why I am so worried I just know that I am and its a little crazy so I need to develop a plan to get over it.

So the goal for February is to put down in writing our monthly expenses and debt repayment so that WE can see if we need to cut and where and make those decisions before the time comes and we have a negative balance in our account and have to dip into the emergency fund.

Also I think a more realistic fear for me is that. I don't want to go back to work - better then that I don't think I can. I don't think I can continue to work 30 mins from home and manage the lives of three children, one with special needs.

So I suppose the truth of it is I am feeling this deep seeded anxiety over how to make my life work.

We can make it on the reduced income, butwe also enjoy the lifestyle we currently have on the income we currently have. Saving has been relatively painless and we accumulating savings, debt repayment has been ticking on schedule, and we have started working towards our next major household project a new bathroon. All that will have to get rejuggled on 55% of my current income for the next year and who knows how much if I choose not to go back to work.

I've come to recognize that I am in one of those "dark" places in life where I don't really know where I am or what direction I am going in. All I know is I can't stay still I have to keep moving forward and find a way out.

I am using up all my vacation time before my maternity leave in bits and pieces. I'm hoping to clear our some cobwebs(fears) and have some time to think and sit with myself and get my creative thinking going again. I know I am capable of coming up with solutions that will work for me. I have been coasting for so long I just don't remember how.

I thought 2010 would be the best year yet and it still holds that possibility. Now I believe that 2010 is just going to be ALOT more hard work than I thought, but if I can do it. If I put in the time and GUT IT OUT. I believe I will see happiness and more contentment with my journey.

Here's to a year of hard work and creative solutions.
:)

Menu Planning and Meal preparation

2010-01-31T18:08:00.001-08:00

I just don't have the energy to write a full post right now. But you can read about why I'm tired over here.

www.abalancedlifestyle.blogspot.com

Ciao!

I peed on a stick.....

2009-12-22T16:10:00.000-08:00

See what happened...

FOCUS - A Balanced Lifestyle

Why oh Why?

2009-12-04T13:21:00.001-08:00

It's just one of THOSE days.

A Balanced Lifestyle
Shannon
:)

Surviving

2009-11-22T06:28:00.001-08:00

Still not feeling the best.

Summary on abalancedlifestyle.blogspot.com

WOW!

2009-11-06T06:34:00.000-08:00

We have been ill. We manged to contract some kind of flu. I don't think it is H1N1 because it was not a severe fever like flu with throwing up and diarreha. Just a coughing, congested, my whole body hurts like there is no tomorrow kinda flu.

We have been basically quarantined in the house for the past 7 days. oy!

My poor husband doesn't know what to do he is torn between taking care of us and wanted to get as far away from us as possible so he doesn't catch it. I think he has done well. he says he's not 100% but I think that's just because he was so worried about getting sick. You know men are like that. They can manufacture symptoms out of thin air to suit their circumstances.

So the girl had it first and she is now boogeying her butt to backyardigans, I had it second and I think I might be able to tackle the mountain of laundry waiting for me. They boy however was the last to get it and I'm sure still has one more day of feeling crappy and coughing his insides out to go before he will feel better. Although today he was lucky not to wake up with a headache so maybe he will make a faster recovery.

it was a week of lots of t.v., blankets, chicken noodle soup, and crabbiness. Lots of unfinished craft projects as we just ran out of energy half way through.

But today it is crisp and cold we had a little dusting of snow and the sun is shining brightly, so we will bundle up and try to get out for a half hour or so.

Hoping to give the boy a hot steamy bath to help loosen his congestion.

I also have to make it out to Michaels at some point this weekend as we are almost out of PAINT and this is not a good place to be in my creative household.

Take care everyone and do what you can to avoid the flu this season. this was by far not the worst case scenario but it was not walk in the park either.
:)

Green School Lunches

2009-09-30T10:00:00.000-07:00

Taking about Green school lunches and how to get started over here at A Balanced Lifestyle.

An email and I cried.

2009-09-23T10:07:00.000-07:00

I can't remember if I mentioned it here or not and I can't be bothered to look for it right now.

At the end of August we said goodbye to the boy's Physiotherapist. She had been our therapist for a little over a year, probably one the the longest terms we have had with a physio as we have experienced alot of turn over due to maternity leaves, leaving for husbands, jobs, transitioning to a school age program and worse lay-offs and service cuts.

She was with us this year as were prepared for and experienced a new school year and a major surgery. She was there for us as we rehabbed from this surgery and helped the boy get to a place where he could see that he had more ability than before the surgery. Not easy for a kid who was in full leg casts and a wheelchair for 8 weeks.

She is from the east coast and came here to go to school and ended up getting a job here so she stayed a few more years.

This year however, as she traveled home for several family events and a wedding, she became a little withdrawn. Never with the children, but as an observer I could tell something was off. Without being nosey I assumed maybe a break up with a boyfriend or other relationship or work matters. I never asked.

But by the end of the summer she sat in a annual review meeting and told us that she would be done at the end of August and she was moving back home. I was very upset to say the least. She has been a total blessing to us, she is able to get the best work from my son, he adores her, she is straightforward with me and provides me with any and all information I request from her.

On the other hand I put myself in her shoes and realized how lonely she must be here and how if I live on the coast by the ocean, I'm sure I would only yearn to be back there. Hell I have lived in my region(never more than 15 mins from where I was born) my WHOLE life. I can only imagine her homesickness. So with a brave face for my son and for her I smiled and said how happy I was for her. When on the inside I was grieving.

Fast forward to today when I received an email from her where I could literally feel her happiness with each word she wrote. I won't lie I cried like a baby because I still miss her so much. I think I am fearful that the boy won't do as well or that I will do something wrong without her guidance. Probably because she helped us through an emotional decision (major surgery) and the surgery and rehab was also such an emotional and exhausting time for our family. Maybe that's why I get so emotional. Can you tell I'm emotional? (over use of the word)

We still have no replacement Physio and have been on our own for the last 4 weeks trying to muddle through and create our own treatment program and workout schedule and trying not to FUCK up all the progress that she/we made this summer.

I feel overwhelmed and exhausted that this is my problem but then I shouldn't because hey he is my kid and his success is in direct proportion to what I put into raising him. So with that I suck it up and smile.

I sent her back a great update email with all that the boy is doing and being and accomplishing.

And then I cried again. I miss her so much!

Perhaps, it is the strong fear that brings up the emotions

Positive Habit

2009-09-22T11:38:00.000-07:00

Just did a post on A Balanced Lifestyle that I thought might be helpful.

For those of us who are overwhelmed, worn out, stressed and feeling out of control.

This positive habit is not for everyone as I know some of you are already getting up at the "crack of the vampires have not gone to sleep yet", but others may find a way to adapt to their own reality and make it work for them.

Biting is not tolerated!

2009-09-20T18:29:00.000-07:00

oh my quite the weekend here. My hubby is away on a golf trip with his brothers, they started doing it a few years ago and it has been really good for them so I have no problem with them doing a weekend every year.

My problem comes when my children decide to become possessed with the devil and be a total freaking disaster while I am on my own. Seriously.

It all started out so well Friday bedtime went off with no problems (they were beat from school and activities). Saturday, little angels ate their breakfast, helped with laundry and dishes, we went to the girl's first dance class EVER and we had excellent behaviour and even when we went to the dance store after to acquire some tap shoes things were going so good. A quick stop for lunch at nonnas, then we were off to the dollar store for a few things and a toy each because of such good behaviour, then finally the grocery store where they were again so delightful and helpful I was so proud.

Cut to getting home and all hell breaks lose, the portal to hell(apparently my living room) open up and there was fighting, kicking, screaming, no sharing, and then it happened, while I was hiding away in the boys room putting away laundry I heard it...something like a struggle, some grunting some pushing and then the great cry rang out through the house. I ignored it for a minute but then it got louder and had a more "hurt" tone to it.

What is going on here? I say innocently figuring the girl just got a misplaced hand to the eye.
He said, The girl took my dollor store toy and wouldn't give it back.
I said, so what did you do?
He said, I bit her.
I said, Mr. Full Name of child, THAT IS WRONG! Go sit on the stairs until I tell you to move.

I check out the girl and the welt on her back is already rising. I grab some ice and give her some loving. I look at him and tell him I just don't know what to say.

He starts to cry that she took the toy and wouldn\t give it back.

NOTE: I have them on a sitcker chart for things like cleaning up, being polite, sharing, brushing their teeth, etc.

I confirmed that the girl did infact take the toy, thus explaining why I had heard naa, naa, naa, naa, naa shortly before the crying and screaming.

The end result:

Biting is not tolerated it is violent and it hurts people, sometimes bad enough that they have to go to the doctor ( the boy understands doctors). Taking toys away is not tolerated, this hurst peoples feeling and is not how we act.

The punishment:

No sharing sitcker, how hurray sticker for having a great day, no cookies at dinner time and you have to tell your nonna and nonno why you may not have any cookies at dinner time (we were going there for dinner). No wii and no t.v. tonight after dinner.

Swift and memorable. Did not want them to worry all weekend until their dad came home. But they will have to tell dad about the absence of stickers on their Saturday line on the chart.

Over all I'd say I handled it well. I really did not know what to do. I was so shocked.

What have you done. In this situation??

Something new

2009-09-18T08:09:00.000-07:00

It has been a crazy month here. Yes the living room is mildly put back together. We were able to get ready for School, Nursery school, Beavers, Dance Class, wow!

I got away with the hubby for some motorcycle riding and unwinding with friends.

But really exciting RIGHT NOW is something else that I am really proud of. A Blog that focuses on the quest for A Balanced Lifestyle.

Check it out if your interested in A Balanced Lifestyle

Love to hear your feedback

The Superior Wife Syndrome

2009-09-14T08:37:00.000-07:00

I don't know if I am comforted or completely disturbed by this article.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/32802284/ns/today-today_books/

Your thoughts??

shh! I know I am neglecting you.....

2009-08-18T12:03:00.000-07:00

Things are almost back to normal around here, our flooring is finally going in today! Yippee we are eating out tonight for the last time in quite awhile as I have gained about 10 pounds having my life in total upheaval for the past 6 weeks.

Our house has been turned up side down, I have had a birthday, and we have had our 6th anniversary (yeah) I have seen Harry Potter finally and we have started our back to school shopping for the kiddos.

Crazy times. I hope to blog a little more on dealing with all this change and my plans for a revamp of my lifestyle to "fix" all the things I let slide during this period of living out of suit cases and having a COUCH in my kitchen.

Hope everyone is well.

Week 4 and Panic has set in

2009-08-07T07:53:00.000-07:00

I could have called this post 2 minutes because you know what??? That is all I have for this post and I'm sure by writing it, I will be two minutes late or 2 dollars short somewhere else today but oh well.

I have been calling this the Go with the Flow Summer of 2009! Really, I have been saying it to my babysitters (all 10 of them)that have been covering various days, shifts, and whatnot.

The drywall guy will hopefully be done today. and we are painting tomorrow and hopefully we will be sleeping in our own home in our own beds tomorrow nite. which is good because Nonno and Nonna will be home tomorrow nite! YIKES.

We will still not have any carpet or trim for another week or two but we are fine with that as long as we can vaccuum up the drywall dust and sleep in our own beds we will be happy.

I will get on the carpet thing this weekend since we changed our wall color I need to pick different carpet!

It will be so nice to sleep in my own bed again I can hardly wait!

Lots of washing and cleaning and grocery shopping for me tomorrow to prepare the house for Nonno and Nonna's homecoming.

I'm arranged an extra week of babysitting so they don't have to jump right back, but I will be so happy when things get back into a new routine around here and I gain some of my sanity back.

Also, in the middle of prep for the launch of a new BLOG! stay tuned we are almost ready. It will be fun, informative, positive, straight forward maybe even a little crazy sometimes. But that's just the was we roll!

Living Room Reno - Week 2

2009-07-27T19:46:00.000-07:00

So I started this post earlier today with the intent to tell you all the annoying/charming little things about living at my in-laws. Like the dryer to rival Minivan mom's. It takes literally 3 hours to dry 10 pairs of childrens' size 3 underwear and socks...honestly.

or I could tell you about the wicked awful sore throat and yucky feelingness that I have been experiencing for the last three days.

But really all I can tell you about it how my baby girl is really having a tough time sleeping in this house( i don't blame her) it is hot as balls in this house.

I think she is getting too hot in her room (she is sharing with her brother)and comes to sleep with me because its cooler. Ever morning about 3am she slips into bed beside me.

Tonight it is really hot and she just showed up at the door, she stayed for a half hour or so just enough to cool down and then went back to her room because the typing and reading light was bothering her (mean mommy) I'm sure she will be back in a few hours and I can hardly wait. It's not behaviour I want to encourage at all because it will take forever to undo it. But I have to admit I am savoring every last second that she sneaks in and lies beside me. I love it.

hubby has been sleeping a few nights here in the awful bed. a DOUBLE and a few nights at home in our glorious 3 month old Queen bed of awesomeness. I seriously better get a few weekends of sleeping in after this is all done.

We are on track so far to have drywall up this week and paint and carpet done next week which should have us moving back into our own house 2 days before the in-laws get home.

We may not have all the furniture bought yet but who cares I can sleep in my own bed again. thanks be to all that is good and holy!

Chaos for good instead of Evil

2009-07-20T12:08:00.000-07:00

So our windows were delivered, late last week. Our contractor dude dropped over to measure them to make sure they were ok. He said he would likely be back on Tues or Thursday to with a crew to install them. that was great as we still need a few days to clear out the rest of the furniture, take down a wall and take apart the entertainment centre and cover everything else in plastic

Then he called on Friday night to let us know they would be here at 8AM on Monday. AWESOME (not)

So we worked like crazy people all weekend hubby on the taking things apoart me on the packing and moving our kids to the inlaws (since they are away in italy) for god knows how long. As the weekend wore on my husband became more crazed to ripp down the wall and I kept trying to slow him down saying we have to get everything out and protected first.

I finally gave him the go ahead to start ripping down our rain damaged mouldy drywall and he was done in 45 mins. Demon man has the nerve to say to me well I got everything done that I wanted to get done! Fuck you charlie! You just made me pack up the most used room in our house in less than 24 hours cursing the hole time about how you'll never get it all done and your are done in 45 mins. You are not my shining start at this moment.

However, fast forward to today and I have 2 new beautiful windows in my living room that is ready to be drywalled and I just have to pick out paint colors. In a bout 2 more weeks I will be a happy camper. new carpet, new color, a few pieces of new furniture (hopefully if we don't go too far over budget) Yippee.

Crazy is definately worth cosy comfort.

booyah

Crazy Summer brewing

2009-07-02T05:44:00.000-07:00

So we are 10 minus 10 and counting on my in-laws leaving for Italy this summer. This means I have had to get creative with my childcare for the summer. I think I have managed to cover off each day with a combination of my vacation days, my neice, my parents, my grandparents and my brother in law. The therapy aide that comes in for the boy has also offered to help our bless her.

On top of that we are ripping apart our living room due to water damage to the side wall and the ceiling. We decided to take on this project because we would be able to move in to the in-laws were gone and then I don't have to raise two little kids in a BIG mess. Complicate that by the fact that my brother in law had to sell his house (due to divorce) and does not get possession of his new house until the end of August. Yep Check that I will be living with 2 men this summer. Yippee for me.

So we are packing for an annual weekend away with friends, but it is increasingly feeling like we are running out of time to get everything ready for the inlaws to leave. We have been moving boxes as some of my BIL stuff went to storage and some of it came to my inlaws, trying to co-ordinate luggage and space for my MIL to start packing all while trying to keep up with our regular days.

I'm hoping we can keep most things on time and ticking along. And hopefully at the end of it we will have a nice new living room and a healthier home. We have a sneaking feeling that there is mold behind the wall and maybe in the ceiling that has been causing some health issues around here.

It's going to be crazy busy but it will all be worth it. Please try to understand if I don't return phone calls of emails right away.

Rainy day!

2009-06-28T07:22:00.000-07:00

What a bummer we were really looking forward to a day outside. So instead we will be baking some cookies and maybe cleaning out the toy cave AKA the basement. We'll see maybe it will turn into a productive day anyway.

Well that was FUN - Not!

2009-06-27T06:56:00.000-07:00

Oh My that was the worst 24 hours of my life.

I thought I was just tired yesterday morning, but I dragged my ass to work anyway. about 10am I started feeling real yucky and spent a little time in the bathroom, well two different bathrooms because I didn't think I should turn our main bathroom into a toxic waste dump. I waited until I had a break and then made a run for our bathroom in the basement floor which "services" less people.

By 11 I had my head on my desk and thought I better head for home while I still could. I got home and went to bed till about 3:30 without even knowing what happened. I thought maybe a shower would make me feel better since my body hurt all over. I was VERY VERY WRONG. That 3-4 minute shower was the worst thing that ever happened to me. It felt like ever pellet of water was making me want to hurl. Excrutiating.

Back to bed and then kids and hubby came in about 6:30 I woke up and had a freezie. nectar of the gods that gave me enough of a sugar rush to drink some gatorade which made me feel expontially better. Just in time.

Right on cue. My precious little three year old has a nose bleed which as I was cleaning her up cause her to start vomiting profusely all over me, her bed her pillow, everywhere.

After a full on room change and clean up. I was exhausted and went straight back to bed and hubby picked up the slack with the boy and getting him off to bed.

What a night. This morning we are just kinda taking it easy watching ALOT of TV and sipping our water juice gatorade and haveing some dry toast.

Hubby had to go help BIL move and I am on my own today. the boy has a birthday party at 2 so I will be taking him bowling with his buddies. Thankfully MIL is available to look after the girl this afternoon making my life way easier.

thankfully this is supposed to only last 24-48 hours. I should be tip top tomorrow for my day of rest. Oh wait maybe I will have to go to work to make up for the day that I lost on Friday...we'll see.

Procrastination

2009-06-24T18:48:00.000-07:00

Oh my god I do not want to study tonight. So far I have twittered and tweeted and checked all my usual blogs. I know that one of my favs is whirling from a big move this weekend and trying to sign off on the sale of their previous home.

Another fav is recovering from what must have been a hellish evening playing field hockey in some really HOT weather

Ack! my hubby just walked in. CAUGHT procrastinating. I must go know that the warden is back to watch over me so I get my studying done.

Poo

A compliment or a comment - you decide

2009-06-15T08:39:00.000-07:00

So I am home. I survived the 5 hour drive the intense 10 hour a day course for 4 days and the 4 hour exam on Friday (with no pee break, the 5 hour drive back home.

My house was a shambles when I got there but everything else was relatively okay.

I had to grocery shop right away since there was no food left even though I told my hubby that my preparation last thursday would not last and he would have to shop before I came home. He decided to stretch it all to the limit and eat at his mom's for 2 days. Asshat!

I took the kids shopping yesterday because today is Daddy's 40 birthday and I thought I should try to pull something special together to honor the day. I have 25 people showing up tonight after work to go for a quick ride on the motorcycles and out for dinner.

So last night as we are lying in bed my husband says "Thing sure are more relaxed when you are here" "thing run more smoothly"

I did not reply because that probably would have gone something like this.

"no SHIT Sherlock, in order for things to go smoothly you actually have to plan ahead and execute DUMBASS!"

So I laid quietly in bed giggle at the prospect of cutting holes in all his underwear and socks.

The End.

10-10-10 By Suzy Welch - A review of sorts

2009-05-28T18:16:00.000-07:00

So I will admit this at the outset. I picked up this book because at my local Chapters store it was on the shelf that had HEATHER's Picks on it. The book is 10-10-10 by Suzy Welch

The basic premise of the book is how to guide decision making in your life by looking at how your choice will affect the next 10 minutes of your life, 10 months and 10 years.

For example I am procrastinating exercising to write this blog post. For the next 10 minutes I will be happy that I am sitting in my comfy chair and I have one more post off my chest that I have been meaning to write for the past two weeks. However, upon closer examination if I don't start exercising tonight how will I look and feel in the next 10 months especially if I make the same excuse every night. Well I will feel like crap and likely look like I am 5 months pregnant when I am not and that will SUCK! 10 years from now. My sedentary choices will probably have taken hold and I will have heart disease, diabetes or high blood pressure. hhmmmmm.

This may be a little over the top but you get my drift. Now speaking of over the top. Although the book is peppered with some great stories and examples of how this decision making process has worked for other and how it can work for you. I cannot help but wish she had written it from a more Woman, Mom, Wife place instead of a journalist, scientist, harvard business review place.

I mean I have an outstanding vocabulary and I had to have a dictionary handy on more then one occasion. Who uses the word "insouciance" okay, please, tell me... No, I mean it, leave me a comment and tell me if you knew what it meant or had to go look it up like me.

Not a bad book, definitely a quick read, the concept is sound and can be used for just about any decision. bigger decision require a little more work on your values but she goes through that as well. I was pleasantly surprised with the results when i put the concept in to practice. Back to the book, don't pay full price for it. Look for it at the library or used book store. that's where my copy will be. I take that back, if anyone wants to give this baby a try, leave me a comment and I'll send you my copy it might be just what you need.

Let me know!

-

Freedom... Coming Soon

2009-05-28T09:05:00.000-07:00

Well it seems like most of my blogging friends are taking a break, which means I should pick up the ball because I have been on a blogging break for a week or two already.

One Friend is anxiously awaiting the end of school so she can get on with her life and move to a new city!

Another is taking a step back and looking at her life with new eyes so she can get revved up about her awesome life again.

And me well I am just hanging out here with a boy in two casts who is about to burst at the seems with excitement that they are coming off on Tuesday and he will be able to move his ankles again.

We have been marking off the days on a calendar since he has been in casts for basically 7 weeks. The other night he said the cutest most innocent thing. "Mom, Will I be able to stand when I get my casts off? How will that work??"

The truth of it is that it will be really hard for awhile but with hard work and time he will be able to stand pretty well I imagine.

I never realized how tight his tendons were and how they were effecting his posture until he stood up straight for the first time. The kid had grown almost 3 inches if not a bit more. Amazing.

I'll try to keep up the posting in the next little while so my other entertaining friends can tend to their families and themselves and take a bloggie break.

Till tomorrow.

A funny little story... me and my motorcycle

2009-05-11T17:48:00.000-07:00

As you may be aware they past month has not been easy on our family. However, we have perserved to meet our obligations to family, friends and work. Some had to be cancelled ie scrapbooking with my mom's group and co-workers, a charity 5k run and speaking engagement for me and the boy, Dad had to miss a few days of work to help me out when I was just completely overwhelmed and not getting much sleep and the poor girl had to deal with being shuffled around all over the place.

Some obligations could not be cancelled due to policies and amount of money invested. Case in point Motorcycle training course with my Aunt Chopper and it cost me $420.00 for course $17.50 to write my M1 beginners, 15.99 for training manual, $65.00 for pair of leather gloves, $147.00 for new DOT approved helmut and miscellaneous lunch, coffee and snacks. Friday Night, All day Saturday and All day Sunday. Hilarity and sheer grit ensued.

First night is training videos and going over some of the questions that will most likely be on the written test. I really can't recall what went on from 7-10pm because in case you didn't read the beginning of the last paragraph i was EXHAUSTED. they gave us some little booklet and a couple of sheets of paper and I shoved them in my bag. Got home made some cupcakes that are required for a Mother's day dinner that I will not see and left instructions with hubby about how to go about having the kids decorate them. Still no grocery shopping, start scrounging in cupboards for lunch items because I am informed that lunch breaks are actually part of the in class training time. Hubby offers me a beer which I drink because I am a little keyed up now that I know I am literally hours away from driving a motorcycle. Oh and did I mention that at about 9pm it has started to rain and the weather forcast says all day rain for tomorrow. YIP E Fucking EEE!

Saturday... darling little munchkins awake at 5AM for miscellaneous foolery like being cold, needing blankets and having to pee. Don't really get any extra sleep before I give up and get out of bed for good at 6:15 AM. Finish packing up massive lunch, pack RAINSUIT and rest of my gear. Auntie picks me up with fear and excitement in her eyes, I just need a frickin coffee.

Get to course we are second last ones in our seats... who are all these keeners...they obviously don't have children. 5mins we are suited up and out to the bikes....what no kiss first??? Find a bike find neutral and start pushing.

First exercise is to push a partner on the bike to get the feel for balance. Chubby girl dumps bike while trying to make a turn. this is not looking good. I decide to push Auntie first. Pushing Auntie on bike in full rainsuit is like running 5k this sucks! Time for Auntie to push me! I don't think I can do this..... Auntie just pushes me anyway and tells me not to be a sissy. I am trembling but I survive.

Now we have to start the bikes... Is this guy insane didn't he see me trembling I am clearly not ready for this. Oh yes I am. Just keep the clutch in and nothing bad can happen. My clutch hand HURTS ALOT!

It starts to rain, because hey why the hell not. I have paid good money to come out here to learn to ride a motorcycle and I want to be prepared for anything.

We rode in pouring rain, hail, 45 kph winds. About 4pm on Saturday I just pull my bike over to the curb, turn it off, sit down on the curb and cry. When all the instructors rush over to see what is wrong I scream I am FUCKING tired you idiots! We ride until 5:30pm and watch a few more videos.

On the way home we discuss how tired we are and how tomorrow is really going to suck but HEY the weather is supposed to be better tomorrow just a little colder. Note to self: pack turtle neck and extra sweater.

I get home and hubby has taken kids out for dinner, I have a glorious hot shower and proceed to smother my body with A535 and a special Arnica gel my massage therapist gave me. Now I think I smell worse. I take an Advil and wait for it to kick in. We put the kids to bed and hubby says " you better go to...full day tomorrow" Whaaaaaaa!

Sunday I wake up and take a quick inventory ooooouuuucccchhhhh! I don't think it hurts to open my LEFT EYE but that is about it. Every muscle, joint and skin cell is shrieking!

I roll out of bed and start to get ready. Drink my coffee and ignore the regular morning chaos of our house because I know if I lose focus, determination for one second the motivation will leave me and I will curl up in the fetal position and not move for a week.

Auntie picks me up and she looks like how I feel, we don't discuss anything on the way to school, we silently doubt our coping skills and ponder how we will make it through the day.

More riding, but it seems to go better to day, more challenges but feeling alittle more confident. Classroom session The written test - that I did not study for because my body required SLEEP. Write test botch about 3 questions that I knew the answer to. Luckily did not affect my results. We Pass. Thank you Jesus, Budha, Confusious, and all the saints.

Now out for more riding and this is where the funny shit starts happening. We have to do a passenger ride. Auntie just about implodes and she has no interest in this. I have frankly come to the point where I don't care anymore and I'm willing to try anything. I travel as a passenger first since I travel as a passenger all the time and I'm good at it. Besides I could use more of a break. It is a weird feeling and we make it through our obstacle course with more than a few chuckles. Now it's my turn to drive and she will NOT get on the bike. WHAT!
Me: Get on the bike
Her: Not sure if I can
Me: What do you mean? Get on the bike?
Her: This doesn't feel safe? Are you sure?
Me: Sure I'm sure I'm not about to do anything if I don't think it's safe. GET ON THE BIKE!
Her: I don't want to.
Me: I dont' care! we are the last ones, get on the damn bike!
Her: Okay Let me see.
Me: One foot then the other and GET ON THE BIKE!
Her Okay okay! But you go home and tell your dad you killed his sister!
Me: Fine! it's okay there are 4 more of you, I'm good!
Her: Not funny!
Me: GET ON THE BIKE!
Her: Hey this is not so bad, you're doing good, keep going, you're doing good, good balance, nice shoulder check, good gear shift.
ME: Auntie if you want to live you need to SHUT UP so I can focus and not get us hurt.

Hilarity ensued and we laughed our way through the course as I ran over a few pylons and she said we must look like dumb and dumber - two grown women riding around on a tiny little bike. It was so funny we couldn't stop laughing but I guess you had to been there to truly appreciate it. Our instructors found us quite funny as well and that is good because we were the last ones to complete the course and our entire class was laughing at us laughing. I needed that laugh just to relax.

The course was so much easier after that and then it was test time. The test was so much easier then the class course and although most of my classmates were REALLY nervous (including Auntie)they made little errors and received a few deductions. I was quite calm and aced my test with a perfect ride! SWEET!

I am now the proud owner of an GM2 licence in the province of Ontario.

Now only if I could use my arms because they are soooooooo sore I can barely butter toast or turn the ignition key in my car.

HELP!

Post Op Update

2009-04-29T13:37:00.000-07:00

I should be cooking dinner...

Well we are at 14 days post op and tomorrow we can get him on his feet and see if he can stand in the casts. This should make the whole toileting arrangement go smoother. Not a moment too soon. My chest muscles and lower back muscles are protesting big time! Everytime I breathe it hurts. I was at the doctor last week because I thought I was have heart or lung problems, Not so much...just stop lifting heavy things. Easy for her to say she doesn't have to try to get a 5 year old in and out of bed everyday.

Even scooching him up in his chair or on the couch pulls those pecs and not in a good way.

Now that I have gained some perspective I'm hoping to be able to write a little about this experience for other families who NEED to know what they are getting into.

It sounds all wonderful when the surgeon describes the positive outcomes and that many children are able to walk really well after surgery and rehab.

But they do not do a very good job of describing just how you are going to get through 2 weeks of sheer HELL and then 3 months of rehab to get to the glorious moment of easier movement for the child. Damn Surgeons, such pricks( and ours is a female)(kinda like lady cops, take themselves very seriously)

Suffice it to say it has been an experience, pain, poop, crying and laughing.

If I ever get two minutes to myself again I will tell you about it.

Pediatric Surgery Checklist

2009-04-22T09:13:00.000-07:00

Here are a few things that we found very helpful to pack for when we took our 5 year old with Cerebral Palsy in for surgery.

Favorite sleep toy
mini juice boxes (sometimes they don't trust what the nurses are bringing them)
own blanket
own pillow
Extra pillows to prop up parts that have been put in Casts
pull ups (they don't always have enough control)
Children's tylenol or motrin incase they refuse to take the stuff the nurse has in the syringe to squirt in their mouth
Extra towels
Cloths
Wipes
A bucket
Barf Bags

We took him in, in his clothes but we brought his jammies to take him home in

Do a test run on how the child will fit in the car/carseat - Very important! we had to make a last minute call to borrow my parents truck when we realized that the boy and the wheelchair would not fit in the car at the same time. Doh!

Get your rental a week ahead of time so you can test it out, the kids get used to it and you can do the dry run mentioned above. It is worth the extra money.

Take said wheelchair with you. You'll appreciate knowing how everything works and the kid will not throw a fit at yet another new thing.

Read all paperwork very carefully at the hospital - If I would not have gone through our stuff they would have only done the surgery on one side and we would have to go back again. (boo hiss)

Feel free to have the surgeon explain the procedure to you AGAIN so that you know what is going to happen.

if I think of more i will add them.

Gotta go! Patient is calling.

Tendon Legthening surgery

2009-04-21T10:51:00.000-07:00

So we are day 6 post op on the tendon legthening surgery for the boy's hamstrings and heel cords. He is pissed. he is mad he has lost mobility around the house.

Couple that with the fact that he cannot sit at a 90 degree angle yet, so we had to get creative with the toilet arrangements. Which involve a "pull up" vs a "diaper" the first time he had to do his business in the "pull up" he was so horrified. I feel sooooo bad for the little guy.

He is complaining less and less everyday which is giving me a little more time to catch up on all things internet, so I should be able to clear the back log of emails and post a little longer commentary on the surgery for those who are searching out these things.

Be back tomorrow. I still have lots of running around to do this afternoon just waiting for my Mom to come over to sit with the kids while I run out to get more pain meds, a small body pillow, cucumbers, and a well deserved massage for mummy.

Till tomorrow!

I wish this was longer and witty - but its all I got .

2009-04-14T08:18:00.000-07:00

Time for an update HOLY cow I didn't realize how much time has passed since I last posted.

Tomorrow we head to the Children's hospital to have Bugaloo's surgery done. He is having a tendon lengthening procedure done to the hamstring and achilles tendons in both legs. he will be in full leg casts for the next 6-7 weeks.

I have had to obtain a wheelchair and inform the school and bus transportation and make arrangements for therapy, time off.

We finalized the arrangements with our mortgage finally, no thanks to Scotiabank those lazy greedy bitches.

We had a momentary issue with how we were going to transport the boy on the way home since we are not sure if he will fit in his car seat with his casts on. So we have a booster, we have the car seat and we'll just play it by ear.

I'm hoping to have more time for blogging on Thursday after we are home and in popsicle and ice cream mode.

I wish this was longer and more witty, but this is all I got.

A Good Mommy Day ( I think)

2009-04-04T05:43:00.000-07:00

I am so grateful today is Saturday. I have been looking forward to this day for the past two weeks. A whole day to be with the kids no rush, no obligation, just us. Poor hubby has a side job to work on so he is gone this morning, but I told him I would save him some fun.

Last week, we made some "aliens" out of air drying clay so first item up today is painting them. Next a little Easter Egg decorating and after as promised over two weeks ago we will be taking a trip to the grocery store to purchase the ingredients to make a strawberry banana milkshake.

I have been a little (ALOT) out of balance lately. Things are going well at work but unfortunately that means that the rest of my life goes for SHIT. I haven't run with any consistency since Christmas and I have been eating everything in site. Which consequently means I have gained back most (ALL) the weight I had lost and yesterday when I put on my jeans - you guessed it - they were SNUG with a capital S.

Why is balance so hard?

We have so many things coming up that it's only going to get harder.
Surgery for the BugaLoo.
Renovation on our Living Room to fix a problem from a leaky roof (roof already fixed)
I am writing a licensing exam for work in June need to study 100 hours ugh!
trying to work through a few ideas for a new business venture
MIL (who is childcare) going away for 6 weeks)
Only 2 weeks of vacation left

That is why I am looking forward to today! No plans no pressure. We will go where the wind takes us. and by the way it is really windy here today!

Ya'll take care I'm off to get the paints ready to PLAY!

Coffee maker broken vs Renewing the mortgage

2009-03-30T10:22:00.001-07:00

This we are finalizing the renewal of our mortgage. It has been an exhausting couple of weeks trying to "get it together" and decide what we are going to do. We have some renovations we would like to do so we were considering applying for a home equity line of credit secured under our mortgage.

However, our banking agent was a total schiester about it and tried to screw us over on several levels, several times. So F her. We are renewing for a 1 year term renewable in 6 months and needless to say we will be looking elsewhere. Maybe I will write a longer and more detailed post about later this week since I can finally breathe easier knowing are home is still partly ours.

If you think that was tough this Monday was WAY better then last Monday when.......

OUR COFFEEMAKER BROKE ahhhhhhhhh! The two day old microwaved coffee saved the day and possibly my sanity.

Poor hubby was instructed to not come home unless carrying a coffeemaker.

He upgraded, we now have a coffee maker with a timer! WOOT!

Heard at my dinner table this evening.

2009-03-18T15:57:00.000-07:00

Hi mr. fork meet mr. spoon.
Arrgghh look out mr spoon.
you got forked

WHERE DO THEY GET THIS STUFF??

It took all our will power not to burst out laughing and fall off our chairs. This was from our 3 year old.

We have had a busy week or two in my household the time has zoomed by I can't beleive we are almost through March break.

We had my neice and nephew over for a sleep over on Monday, the kids were with their Nonna today and their Neena tomorrow and then they will be with their Dad all weekend as I go over to a girlfriends for the weekend. Scrapbooking fun!!!

I have to start packing I don't even know what to bring. I think I might just bring my computer and get my two digital storybooks done.

I still have to download they last two content disks I bought as well as a few designs you can find on www.creativememories.com

My hubby got something in his eye tonight on the way home from work which is totally bogus since he was still where his safety glasses on the ride home. So he is resting and I am on pajama duty tonight.

And it is almost 7 and I am using my blog to procrasinate from starting to clean up my scrap room and pack for the weekend.

I had better get going or it will be an extremely long night for me. Boo Yah!

So Pissy!

2009-03-11T07:59:00.000-07:00

I guess I have been in a funk for the past week or so. I am just pissy.

Partly I got my period and well that makes anyone pissy.

Mainly because I did not get dream job! boo.

Did receive special recognition for great job I did coordinating event at current job so that was nice.

just wish I could catch a break. I guess I really need to sit with myself and figure out what I really want.

Baaah Who has time to do that.

Monday - here we go again

2009-03-02T19:03:00.000-08:00

Funny I seem to have a new song stuck in my head. I really love the rhythem and beat of the song. I must look hilarious singing and dancing along to it but for now I love it. At least I would laugh if I saw a 30 something white mother of 2 little ankle biters, shaking her booty to You spin me round - by Flow rider. Seriously.

But I choose to believe it's karma right now. Ever time I feel like totally losing it over all the "stuff" going on in my life right now, some how this song finds me and I can't help but get a great big smile on my face and start dancing around.

I heard this song on my way to my 2 hour job interview, I heard this song on my weekend away and just now tonight while I was sitting here feeling sorry for myself because I have too many balls in the air right now you guessed it - my song on an episode of CSI Miami no less. (of course one of the episodes with p.diddy)

I was coming here tonight to whine and complain again about all the crap going on around here, not here... with me. I am all over the place right now. Trying to do a good job at work, trying to get a new job, trying to be a goode Mom, good wife. I've almost thrown good friend out the window because hey who has time for that!

I have a girls weekend coming up after march break and I am so looking forward to it. I haven't seen most of these gals since before Christmas, that's just friggin crazy.

I feel over committed, I wish I could say I feel under appreciated but the truth is I really feel like I haven't done much to be appreciated for. I feel like my efforts are mediocre, hovering just below the surface of good enough. Definately not noticeable definately not the level or results I am used to performing at.

Mediocre that's how I am feeling. boo I DONT LIKE IT.

So it's time to kick some ass and take some names. i am sick of feeling this worn out worn down and sucky.

Step One: Schedule hair cut and highlights and purchase new outfit. Doesn't have to be expensive just new, Something to shake me loose.

Thanks for listening.
-

Can I get off this ride?

2009-02-27T06:45:00.000-08:00

What an incredibly busy few weeks, when I first reviewed my calendar for the last few weeks it didn't seem so bad, a few nights out, a few nights in the only issue was two weekends away back to back.

then it all went to hell. the kids had the flu, more work obligations, hubby not feeling well.

My house is a disaster and I have exactly two hours to restore some semblance of order before I leave for an overnight conference in Toronto.

I am still hoping to get a call back for a second round of interviews for a really great job for me.

My first round I kinda winged it and I had some pretty good answers and some mediocre answers so I picked up a few books on interviewing and hope that if I get a call back I will be more polished, confident and better prepared for this next round.

I'm sure they will call today after I have left for the weekend which means I won't know until I get back tomorrow night after dinner. ahhhh!

It's raining here today which stinks because it's still a little chilly and I wanted to straighten my hair which does not do well with the damp weather.

poo

Alright now I only have 1 and 1/2 hours to get my shit together so I had better get gone!
-

Vacation Day - I think not

2009-02-24T11:54:00.000-08:00

More like a running around like a chicken with my head cut off day. Doctors appointment for me, so ihad to run the kids out to my parents house. Which is normally fine but since the kids have been sick A they don't want to get out of their pjs and B they don't want to get up in the morning. I was almost late for my appointment.

I am on pins and needles waiting for results from A my job interview and B my tests I had done at the doctors today. The last test I had did not have a proper sample so I don't even know if I have anything to be concerned about or not.

Which for anyone who knows me...means that in the back of my mind I am concerned that their may be an issue. next the doc telss me it could be 3-4 weeks before we will ahve the results back. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I am likely to go insane. Besides the answer to these test may help determine my life's course.

Not unlike the outcome of this job interview process.

Either way here I am trying to psych myself up to keep on keeping on as if things are normal? ugh!

The kids are mostly better just crabby from lack of doing anything fun for the past few weeks. I am away for work this weekend so they will have to wait for Sunday for anything fun to happen around here.

Speaking of crabby, one crabby girl just jumped into my arms and is demanding my attention.

Gotta Go - Wish you well

Being a Working Mom sucks Part 4

2009-02-18T18:48:00.000-08:00

I've given up all pretenses of normalcy at this point. In theory my life is totally awsome the husband the kids the house the job, it's all good.

But in reality this week I am pulling my hair out. The FLU has visited our home again, not the achy I feel crappy flu, moaning and graoning crabby kid flu. NO oh no....We are experiencing the full blown 104 degree flu accompanied by delusions and projectile vomiting.

I have spent more time on the phone with my MIL (who is looking after the kids) while I put on the facade that I am working.

On top of that I had a job interview this morning for dream job #2 and one the the interview questions was "What do you consider you greatest accomplishment?"

WTF! I have cleaned 3 sets of sheets from projectile vomiting, I have had count'em 2 and 3 quarters hours sleep in the last two days, I am showered, well dressed and sitting here in front of you providing relatively coherent answers to your 2 hour interview. That is a goddamned feat of serious proportions and at this point in time my crowning achievement and definition of success in my lifetime.

WHAT that's not a real answer? oh all right. how about the fact that I am still employed at the same company after 13 years two buyouts and 5 name changes is that enough of an achievement for you? thanks I'm proud too.

I still like answer #1

Hopefully this will pass. if they still have temperatures tomorrow we will be visiting the doctor just for shits and giggles and I'll try to fit that into my already really short work week.

Now I am off to bed because I am afraid if I don't get some serious sleep soon I will be just as sick as them.

Keep you fingers crossed that I get a call back for 2nd interviews, maybe then I will get a chance to be my focused super amazing self. This compnay offers a fitness grant that you can apply for to pay for fitness equipment. IE that treadmill I have had my eye on. SWEET!

This too will pass and my life can go back to being super AWESOME! Thanks

Peace out!

-

Back to bloggin

2009-02-06T18:23:00.000-08:00

I would have called this Being a Working Mom SUCKS part 3 but I didn't think that was really an eyecatcher or very thought provoking.

What a crazy week around here. I was out almost every night this week for work or for other obligations. I hate it when it all packs into one week but it seems to happen every 4 months or so. I just finished watching a little tv with the hubster and now I thought I would drop a quick line to say I have had no time for y'all this week and I'm sorry. but SHIT what are you going to do.

I'm happy to let you know that my kids fought with me EVERY day to get dressed and get out of the house. Which made me feel like a frenzied, anxiety ridden crack head all week. I had a major project due at work which took ALL ( and I mean ALL)my breain power this week. (PS, project complete and approved and perfect not one change from VPs, and Managers! SWEET!) Last time I saw my hubby was Monday night because the nights I did make it home by eight he had to run out check on a job site, pick up some equipment or help out a friend.

I am also happy to report that although the above was "stressful" I DID NOT add any stress to my life this week by falling, hurting myself or locking my keys in the car which makes me eternally grateful to all that is holy and sacred in the universe because I SHIT you not I could not have dealt with another GODDAMNED thing this week. One more minor little wrench and I would have exploded it to a supernova and gone all MEDUSA all over someones ASS.

this week was my aunite's birthday so a shout out to her, Also thankful that during my crazy week I managed to send her a note in the regard and nasty joke about getting old. hee hee hee.

Now I am off to beddy as this girl is DOG ASSED TIRED.

Tomorrow after I dig out the kids and the dog from all the crap that has exploded in my house and go GROCERY shopping for GOD's sake and re-stock the pantry for my poor starving family. I intend to make a POT of COFFEE and sit down and surf the net for a few HOURS and hopefully come up with some inspiring SHIT for you folks.

Kick Ass before someone kicks yours! Peace out!

-

Being a Working Mom SUCKS - Part 2

2009-02-03T04:51:00.000-08:00

I am sitting here well past the time that I should be getting ready to go to work. Why? I know this is going to make my life miserable today if I don't get my ass in gear. But I just don't want to. I have a project that is overdue through no fault of my own, I have been waiting and waiting, remindings, asking and pleading for the information I need to complete this project. Now I have to go to the boss and I'm sure there will be a flip out because it should be done already. ANYWAY....

I would think its my strong tendency for avoiding public humiliation that is making me plant my but on the couch and write this silly little diddy instead of getting up and getting my shit together and getting to work.

I just want to play playdoeh with my kids today and read to them and see what's going on in their world. Is that so bad. But with 4 sick days and a vacation day under my belt for January alone, I would think I best get my butt to work. Ugghh!

so I better only spend another moment wallowing in this wasteland of pity and then go try to find an outfit that mildly makes me look put together and get dressed in 10 mins, wrestle the kids into something and get on the move.

Maybe if I don't look like an unfinished project no one will assume that anything is wrong.

Here's to a day that I will be glad when it's over!

Being a working mom Sucks today!

2009-01-28T07:59:00.000-08:00

I am having one of THOSE days. My kids are sick. I am at a critical point in a project at work. I am tired from being up all night with kids who "just need someone to talk to" or just want to "cuddle" that is when they are not crapping their pants or coughing so hard they throw up.

I have done 3 set of sheets in the last 12 hours. I am tired. Tired of people coughing and sneezing on me. tired of blowing and wiping noses. tired of changing diapers and sheets. tired of pretending that I am concerned about next steps in this project when I just want to sit on the couch and cuddle my babies.

I took on this extra project because I was bored and wanted to show management that I am capable and interested in co-ordinating these projects...and I am.

It just seems like something always goes wrong at home and interferes with my plans.

I finally got my computer set up so I can link into work from home and manage my email and access docs on our server and that has helped at least for today.

I still just have this guilty feeling that someone is pissed off that I'm not at work. but the reality of it is I'm probably the only one who cares.

And honestly what is most important. My Kids! period.

So I guess I just need to get over it. anyone have some inner peace they can share with me today?
-

New Product - Illness B Gone

2009-01-26T07:39:00.000-08:00

I wish!

Today the bug woke up with Laryngitis, which required some serious fancy footwork on my part. Our babysitter has not been feeling well and so I just could not send him to the sitters or when I knew he was dealing with something. School was not an option because we just got a nice note home from school saying, " For shits sake people quit sending your sick kids here" Well that's not actually what it said. I may have paraphrased a little.

However, hubby was only too happy to hear of my emergency and come to my rescue since he is stuck working outside today and it is a balmy MINUS 22 degress here in our winter wonderland. Can you say darling you saved my life.

So I have a few minutes here before he gets home and then I am off to work where I will have to put in a few extra hours tonight to off set my late start this morning.

I hate when mondays start this way!

How about you? A smooth monday or a rough monday??

-

AFOs appts and work

2009-01-20T12:49:00.000-08:00

I feel like I am having such a hard time. I am just home early after having to take the bug to therapy and now I found out we have an appt on thursday at 11am to get his new afo's now I have to go tell work that I will need thurs am off so I can take the bug to this appt. I would ask hubby but he is home today sick and even if he is feeling better he won't be able to take the time off to take the bug to his appt. I guess I will just have to bite the bullet and ask for more time off.

I'm having trouble making up lost time as well. We have had so many weekend obligations. I guess i will just have to bit the bullet on that too and say no so I can go and make up some hours.

Bug is excited though because his new AFOs have soccer balls on them. whoo hoo!

Happy Days for my pals in the states. A whole lot of hoopla going on over there.

I truly hope there are good things to come.

-

What am I worth?

2009-01-18T19:38:00.000-08:00

The job search has happened upon me once again. A great job ad appeared in our local paper this weekend and I would be a total DUMBass (again) if I did not apply for it.

It is probably a payscale higher then the job I have now, but similar to duties I have done in the past. So the big questions is what is my salary expectation? In this case i believe more than my current wage is warranted. But how much more???

My experience has been if you do not provide a number on your inital letter... you do not get a call for an interview. So I have to come up with a number.

So I used a little program you can find called Pay Scale which you can find on Workopolis.com. So you plug in your info and the job info and it gives you a range.

In the end I gave a range that was between 25% and 75% of the Pay Scale range. the beginning of the range was just a bit higher than the average wage for this position in my city.

I hope I did not just price myself out of this job.

I am assuming they are willing to pay as they asked for 8 years experience and there is no way you are going to find too many candidates with 8 years expereince that are willing to work for peanuts. (I hope)

Please Please Please let me get a call and at least get an interview.

This job has many of the things I am looking for :
More money
more challenge
CLOSER TO HOME (major major one here)

So keep the fingers and toes crossed. I hope I hear from them before the end of the week. that would be FANTASTIC.
Do you

Change

2009-01-16T04:14:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, a co-worker, someone I have worked closely with in the past, someone I considered a friend, someone whose opinions and ideas I respected left our company.

We received a brief email that this person was no longer with the company and that was it. Bob's your uncle!

So I have struggled to reconcile this loss in my life. It's not like we were best friends in fact in the 6-7 years we worked together I never once contacted them in anyway other way then company email and phone number. We never once saw each other outside of a company function.

But for some reason I am sad and feel discombobulated. this is one of those uncomfortable changes in life. It's open ended, no resolution, no goodbye.

I was able to send a brief note with someone that I knew would see this person and that will be the end.

I guess I am feeling the loss of displaced friendship I had, now who will I be able to chat with and make fun of my co-workers with, let off steam with?? but it is not like we were friends in the traditional sense of the word, we shared very little personal information with each other.

I really appreciated this persons ability to think and create ideas, to bring people and ideas together, to think outside the box. I will miss the big ideas.

Strange these relationships that we build. So this is the best I can do put my best and heartfelt wishes out there and hope i hear soon of fantastic things that happening out there because this person can be such a brillant star.

Cheers my friend. It was a wild ride.

-

Hi It's me ... DumbAss calling.

2009-01-14T18:52:00.000-08:00

Every other Wednesday night me and a few co-workers stay at work a little late to do some scrapbooking. It's really nice to get a chance to chat with people from other divisions and share our passion for preserving memories.

Tonight there was only 3 of us so we did our thing. chatted a little and then called in a night a little before 7pm.

tonight I put my things in the car, started the car grabbed my scraper and checked the door lock to make sure all the car doors were open. I proceeded to scrap all the bloody snow off my car and clean the headlights and tail light in preparation for the drive home.

finally I reached for the door to put the scraper in and it was stuck. CRAP it's a lot colder then I thought. I walk around to the driver's side and pull the door.

OH SHIT... yup you got it. I fucking LOCKED it. DUMBASS!

Trudge back to office. Swip Key, enter password, climb stairs. Call darling husband.

Hi it's me DUMBASS calling. Can you come and get me thanks bye. PS I love you!

Score one point for husband.

-

Everyday crap

2009-01-13T11:02:00.000-08:00

Whew a whirl wind of activity this weekend, no one and I mean NO ONE sleeping in which ticked me off. Come Monday a totally different story. How could my sweet little babies have turned into full fledged wake up early on the weekends, sleep in on the school day kids. Ack!

Our house is a complete disaster. I mean a top to bottom mess. I would take pictures to post but I don't even know where to start. If you could see me I would be shaking my head.

I have managed to free up a few hours so, here's my plan, A blog post complaining about my messy house and a few loads of laundry so I can have new clean sheets on my bed.

Ready Go!

-

What's on your mind?

2009-01-10T04:15:00.000-08:00

I have so much stuff on my mind these days.

We have to renew our mortgage soon and I am constantly thinking about what type of mortgage to get, whether or not to stay with our bank, who is a pain in the arse most of the time. I never find them imensely helpful in any capacity. They telemarket twice a month to see if we are interested in critical illness insurance which we already have WITH THEM. But I have to do my own research and go to them to ask for a better rate on my credit card or account with lower fees?

So there is that.

I have to start considering our next options for the boy since he will require some type of surgical intervention in the next year or two on his hamstring and achilles tendon.

My co-op student finished her contract at work so I am on my own until May when hopefully my manager will approve hiring some more help for me this summer. I feel like there is going to be so much work to do and not enough hours to do it in.

What am I going to make for dinner the daily constant.

oops gotta go the girl is creating havoc in the sleeping house.

What's on your mind?

-

Super powered hearing and other intuitive powers - A story

2009-01-08T04:52:00.000-08:00

There is a phenomena, most of you know of I'm sure. Think back to your childhood. Saturday afternoon, your dad or grandfather was SLEEPING in the la-z-boy, watching something like Blazing Saddles AGAIN. So you quietly sneak up to the TV (before remotes were common)and turn it to the OTHER channel (because we only got two) to watch cartoons. Immeadiately your father or grandfather would awaken and declare " I was watching that". Huh?

Now if you lived in my household you would smartly quip back "how? through your eyelids?" To which the reply would be, "turn it back or else?" I think the or else was going to your room. I never tested it.

Tuesday I witnessed a similar phenomena while I was home with my sick child and the oldest was home his off day of school. the two of them would sit quietly, intently watching a movie or a cartoon show... until I picked up a book, magazine or the computer to do my own thing. The suddenly, my attention was required for a dozen seemily do or die requests, read to me, fix this, help with the puzzle. Are you kidding me. 5 minutes into this emergency activity and they were hooked on their "show" again. I re heated my coffee picked up my book and WHAM! The minions were back.

For all the is considered holy and sacred in this world and any other....

Give me a moments peace will ya!

Have you come across this phemonena in your household??

-

John Travolta Do we really need to know?

2009-01-06T12:51:00.000-08:00

Can I just say....do we really need to know.
Thispopped up yesterday on my yahoo news.

I turned on the TV last night and there was Mark Steines from Entertainment Tonight, station in Florida, ready to provide me with the "lastest" upto the minute details of the Funeral arrangements for Jett Travolta. I felt the bile rise in my throat.

I'm in a paradox (is that a correct way to say it) on one hand if it was John Travolta's arrangements I may have a morbid curiosity that would make me look for this type of information.

But this is his CHILD, so I find myself revolted by the fact that we can't just let this family be, to grieve and handle their arrangements without press releases, statements, and decoy hearsts.

I buy the magazines (although not this year 2009 magazine free Day 7), I read the gossip blogs and watch ET. This has gone over my line I do not feel good about this.

My heart goes out to this family as it would for any other family that has lost a child. As much as you want to know information, sometimes its not for us to know and that needs to be OKAY.

-

New Buggy to Push

2009-01-06T12:16:00.000-08:00

Seeing as how I was off today I decided to do one thing that would make me feel productive about my day.

I have been trying to search for a new stroller for us. Although the BugaLoo is doing fantastic with his therapy. Even though he is getting stronger and stronger and walking longer and longer. Even though he rarely uses his walker at school anymore (except on those days when it's his turn to take the attendance to the office). There are times when having a stroller for him would make his day and ours more enjoyable. Anywhere there are long distances between destinations, for example; the parking lot and the hospital where he receives his botox injections, the fairgrounds in my hometown, the museum, large all day events like picnics or when we took him to "A Day out with Thomas"

So I started looking today and I really like This Baby. Not sure how economic it will be to ship from the UK but I will check into it. I also found This which will work great and can hold a maximum of 110 lbs.

Time to get dinner started.

Work Guilt, Home Guilt it's Everywhere!

2009-01-06T05:20:00.000-08:00

I'm home today with a sick princess peanut. she is prone to the croup, but she has had a cough for about two days now, last night a fever turned up and today she is coughing more. So I decided to stay home from work to keep an eye on it. I would be really upset if she ended up with pnuemonia because I didn't keep an eye it. Guilt number one.

Now I feel guilty for taking time off work and it's only the 6th day of the year. this is not starting off well. It's that working mom dichotomy. Doesn't matter what;s going on GUILT.

So I am going to stick with my word of the 2009 which is ONE. I can only make ONE decision at the time and I need to focus on ONE situation at a time. I have no control over anything else. I have to do what is best for my family. I just wish I had a little more confidence in my decision and alot less GUILT.

How do you handle these situations??

What's your word.

2009-01-03T09:07:00.000-08:00

My friend Ali see link at the side. Has this great tradition. Choosing just one word and using it to help guide you through your year.

I thought my word for 2009 was going to be simplify. it certainly describes what I need to focus on for 2009. For some reason it just wasn't sitting well. It didn't make me sigh with contentment. It didn't give me that "feeling".

Then it came to me the other night. maybe a little late for the new year but close enough.

ONE

As in One thing at a time. I need to focus on one thing at a time. I'm hoping this will help me be less scattered.

Welcome 2009 - I've been expecting you.

2009-01-01T10:40:00.000-08:00

I hear so many people say they are happy the current year is over and they are looking forward to starting another year.

Last night at the party we were attending, I finally heard the opposite argument. At 11:45 as we were pouring champagne, My dear friend exclaimed that she wished 2008 could last a little longer, it flew by so quick. She is not looking forward, she is happy and comfortable just where she is. 2009 represents her 39th year. You know...that critical year before 40 she explained. you know.... 40 when you are supposed to have it together and be a grown up. She is just not ready!

So as everyone else cheered and welcomed in the new year. We hugged and let out a collective sigh and I agreed I would support her as she does her best to get her shit together and become a grown up. I also let her know that I would support her on those days that are sure to come... those days when you definately don't want to be a grown up.

In the end she agreed 2008 was so great 2009 would be too!

Try to be kind to yourself, make your expectations realistic, be happy where you are, knowing that all too soon it will change again. Stay flexible and take it as it comes.

I'm one of those people who always looks forward to the new year, I guess it's when I give myself the gift of forgiveness. the one time a year I let myself feel my accomplishments and forgive myself for whatever I didn't achieve.

I'm a list person so I love taking the time to write out what I want for the new year. Health, time, new black leather boots, you know.

All I know for sure is right now I am so thankful.

Good bye 2008

2008-12-31T06:55:00.000-08:00

This was definitely not the worst year of my life, but I am looking forward to putting it to rest and excited to see what 2009 is going to bring.

This year I watched my children grow so much. I watched the bug learn to walk...again. I watched the peanut learn so many new words and stun me with her vocabulary everyday.

The hubster and I kept communicating through times of feeling down and like somethings not right. We love each other more and more everyday and try are hardest to be as supportive as we can.

Our number one priority for 2009 is our health! We both have issues on the radar that will require some attention this year and we have vowed to make our health a priority. Which means better menu planning and more exercise.

Our life is getting closer to what we want. We don't feel so out of control any more. We are gaining more and more control everyday over our money, our schedules, our emotions.

We are a work in progress. We are working and WE ARE MAKING PROGRESS!

Goodbye 2008 it has been nice knowing you!

HELLO 2009 Bring it on!

Christmas Aftermath!

2008-12-29T05:26:00.000-08:00

Whoa. I can only hope that everyone has had as wonderful of a holiday as we have. We managed so many things this year. We managed to create a wonderful and meaningful Christmas with our families. We made some gifts and stayed on budget for the rest of our expenses. We had great food and made great connections with our family.

the Bug had a great birthday and was delighted that Santa did not forget about us. When he found a gift under the tree for him.

We are finishing up his birthday festivities today with a playdate for him and 3 friends, which should be a great break for all of them in their school holiday.

The peanut just had great fun running around being a crazy 2 1/2 year old, exploring and enjoying all the holidays have to offer.

We have even managed to get them back on somekind of schedule. they are so worn out each day from all the playing that they happily go to bed when the time comes, we have not had too many arguments or meltdowns. Pretty good for everyone being home for 5 days in a row.

We got the tree taken down and the decorations put away. the new clothes are washed and put away. We have cleared out some old toys to donate to make way for the new toys they received. We even have money in the bank. shhhhh! don't tell anyone!

So besides the obvious family and friends being the best part about christmas. I got a prety great surprise. My hubster bought me a NEW CAMERA. A Nikon D60 to call my very own. What a surprise! So I have been having fun learning all about my new camera and taking photos, hopefully I will have some time soon to download and post some photos.

I have to admit we have been very fortunate this year. We have taken steps to control our destiny and our financial situation and they are starting to work. This is the first full year that both the hubster and I have been receiving a full paycheck so that could be why this year seemed a little easier. I have to tell you the prospect of erasing some debt this year instead of just holding it at bay is very exciting.

Sorry this post was a little all over the place. I have a playdate to prepare for. I'll be back soon.

Christmas list - check!

2008-12-20T19:30:00.000-08:00

My sister and I went out to the mall tonight to finish up our shopping. We just needed a few things each and we hoped it wouldn't be too busy as most people would be our at Christmas parties.

We were RIGHT! It was still busy but not crazy. the lines were moving and it was actually not painful to get everything done.

I still feel like I am forgetting something but oh well. I'm sure I'll figure it out and have to make one more trip.

I am really proud to say that I think we did really well this year. We got special things for family and friends and did not go overboard. We got the kids their Skuut bikes and one small art set for each of them, which they will love. We got them little toys in their stockings and I think that will keep them busy till all the other stuff kicks in.

This year is much calmer and less frenetic.

Today we made a popcorn string for the tree, because, just because.

Botox, flu shot and Casts for AFOs

2008-12-18T05:00:00.000-08:00

What a week we are having. And our week started on Friday. Friday we travelled to our Orthopedic Surgeon's hospital so that she could do Botox injections on the Bugaloo legs. (If your new here you can read about his CP in the CP posts)

This time our appointment was at 2:30pm which meant the Bug could each jello and drink until 10am and we did not have to leave for the hospital until 10:30am. (I'm not sure if this was better than leaving at 8:30 and trying to cram jello into him in the car until 9am). We get to the hospital (1hr 15 mins drive from our home)get registered, pick up our prescription at the pharmacy and then check in at the pedatric day surgery unit. There we (i mean the bug) is weighed, measured, blood pressured, heart and lungs checked out, we answer amillion questions and then...we WAIT. and wait some more and just when you start to get antsy, we wait some more.

Then finally one of us (this time me) gets to carry him in to the procedure room and try to calm a child that is freaking out because they are going to put a mask over his face that is going to make him go to sleep. (that's the hard part) I try telling him a story about the time I broke my arm when I was his age and had to have it fixed and they had to put a mask on my face and ..... he's not buying it. So I hold him while he crys and in seconds he falls asleep and I have to leave my little man there on the table. (It does get easy, not better, but easier)

15 mins later the doctor comes to tell us that she gave him 16 injections, he's waking up and asking for us and a pink popsicle.

We go to see him in recovery and he starts to cry. (this happens every time) We calm him and let him know he is safe. He finishes his popsicle and asks when can we go home. Soon buddy soon. About this time the hunger and thirst kick in. Apple juice, no problem. After an hour, the last set of checks, blood pressure, temp, and circulation, we are given the go ahead to leave. It is now 4:15pm and we are all starving, hubster and I had breakfast but no lunch and split a bag of chips and bottle of water in the waiting room. East Side Marios is right across from the hospital so we decide to go for it. They tell us to take it easy that heave food will make him sick after the anesthetic, but we decide to go for it!

We eat our fill and head home. What a day!

Tuesday I had to take the kids for flu shots and the Bug needed an immunization for school. The kids were soooo good. I can forgive the 3 minutes of full on chaos that ensued when the needles came out. The BUG looked right at the doctor and said,"that was horrible, just horrible". the doc tried to supress a giggle, but the bug caught her and gave her a dirty look. the peanut screamed bloody murder but who can blame her, she was second and already new what was coming.

Whoppee we're having fun now!

Today, we are going to orthotics clinic to get casted for new AFOs since the Bug had Botox and is also growing like a weed.

Today will be alot of waiting, we hope they are on time but will pack lots of snacks and activities since our appointment time is close to lunch and will probably span over the lunch hour.

thankfully this ends our medical appointments until the new year and we can look forward to celebrating the bug's birthday (24th) and Christmas.

Hoping your week is going better than mine. hang in there it's almost over.

Wrapping Party - It's a good thing!

2008-12-17T19:22:00.000-08:00

Ah! I just had the most fun.

A few weeks ago I received an invitation for a Wrappping party. mmmmm. What new party plan could this be???

No party plan. Just a Party with a Plan. My friend A invited her girlfriends over for food and drinks and to get their Christmas wrapping done! Oh My God! What a great idea! Why didn't I think of this before. No more mad wrapping a 2AM. What will I do with my time.

Anyway, all teacher, therapist, co-worker, miscellaneous gift exchange gifts WRAPPED!

I still wanted to wrap the kids gifts with the hubster, because HEY that's our thing.

But all the other.. DONE, DONE, and DONE SWEET

And that's a WRAP!

Tagged!

2008-12-13T11:29:00.000-08:00

So I have been tagged by my good friend Jenn to provide you with 7 little known facts about me.

1. I passionately fear going to the dentist. I hate dentists, dentistry, teeth. HATE. have to make my appt first thing in the morning so I can go home and shower before I go anywhere. He's a Great man. Just HATE the profession. I'm what they call a WHITE KNUCKLE patient. But don't what my teeth to fall out of my head.

2. I'm allergic to something in RED wine :( Can't have it. Break out in a rash and can't breath. Interestingly enough this happened after having a glass of homemade wine at a wedding over 15 years ago. Have not had more than a sip of red wine since.

3. My favorite comfort food is Beans and Weiners. This is what my Dad used to make for me for dinner when my mom was out for for the evening. Neither my brother or sister like it. But to this day if it's just me and my Dad that's what we have for a meal. We're a little more health concious now and add a salad with it.

4. I have a magazine obsession. I have been known to purchase 15 magazines in one month. ONE MONTH! I am inspired by the colors and items displayed but it has been getting out of control. Maybe I will do a blog post on it. Needless to say I have sworn the hubster to crack down. I have been allowed 2 subscriptions and I am on a TOTAL magazine BAN for 2009. NOT ONE purchased magazine. I'll let you know how it goes.

5. I am truly so very happy with my life. I may gripe and complain now and then about my job or my commute or feeling frazzled. But I have a wonderful husband, partner , best friend, two gorgeous kids who are amazing, great family and friends. I am so very THANKFUL!

6. I still LOVE coloring with crayons, in a coloring book, or just on paper.

7. Brad Pitt is my second choice. (boo-ya)

Now I have to tag someone hmmmmm. I think not. If everyone else is a busy and overwhelmed as me I won't add to their stress. I will defer and save this tag for someone in the New Year! Watch out it might be you!

Can I get a valium??

2008-12-11T04:42:00.000-08:00

I just don't get it. I have been up at 5am everyday this week. Can't sleep, This is soooooooo unlike me. I am a sleeper. I like sleep. I LOVE sleep. Don't get me wrong I can go with little sleep for quite sometime. I'm a tough cookie I can gut out tiny babies who don't want to sleep. Or stay up late several nights to complete a project. Sooner or later though I crash and I like it. Glorious sleep.

So I'm puzzled by this new development on waking at 5AM and can't get back to sleep? And I must vehemently declare I DO NOT LIKE IT!

Waking at 4 or 5 AM is for my derranged co-worker who is a coffee addict (and meth and speed and whatever) He is one of THOSE people. He wakes at 4am comes into work, runs 10K at lunch (in 50mins or less) works some more, leaves at 4-4:30 promptly to go pick up his girls and make dinner with them and spend sometime with them, then works some more and goes to bed around 11pm. PSYCHO!

I'm sure he crashes and needs a few days to re-group, in fact I know he does. I wish I could be a little more like him.

I just can't seem to get the productive side going.

Yesterday, I tried. I got up and had my coffee, read a time management book for some tips, threw in a load of laundry, laid out the kids clothes (from the laundry that hadn't been put away from the weekend, doh)made lunches for me and the boy, chatted with hubster when he woke up and got ready for work, had a shower, pulled out stuff for dinner, got dressed, dressed children as they woke up, packed up car, put kid 1 on bus, took kid 2 to babysitter, got to work realatively on time.

Does anyone know what's missing here. Well let me give you a hint. I discovered in at 9PM last night when I thought I should throw in a load of laundry?????

You got it. I nice big load of stinky wet laundry that had to be washed again.

HONESTLY. Like I said I just can't get all the pieces to fall together.

I'm having a pity party for me. Boo!

Today is a new day and I'm going to kick it in the ASS. I'll let you know how it goes.

Spinning my Wheels

2008-12-05T13:11:00.001-08:00

I am mentally exhausted y'all. I am the first to admit I had a crazy november schedule and that bears NOT repeating. I pushed (my buggy) hard to get a handle on my Christmas to do's and they are relatively under control. But I hit the brick wall today. I barely made it through the bug's parent teacher interview. Hubster asked if I was going to work afterwards and I said NO.

I went home and called in SICK and have been spinning my wheels all day. I feel like I should be doing something but I can't seem to get it together.

In a last ditch effort to be productive today. I started to purge all the shit in my head. just scribbling things down on paper. circles, Squares, lines, stars, hearts. statements, wants, needs.

I feel better now. Hopefully after this brain dump I will be able to make some head way this weekend in my plan for myself this year.

Some of you may know that I am an independent consultant for CREATIVE MEMORIES and they have finally amended our internet policy and I can share the link for my personal consultant webiste on my blog.

So here it is www.mycmsite.com/sites/shannongeil come for a visit and check out the new Creative Memories. Please drop me a message if I can help you with memory keeping needs.

till next time.

Simplify

2008-12-02T13:36:00.000-08:00

I've been seeing this flying around the blogoshpere. People are choosing their word to live by for the upcoming year. I've seen a few, Focus, Purpose, Happiness. My choice for this 2009...SIMPLIFY.

My life is far too complicated and I need to simplify. I need to de clutter I need to learn how to schedule well and say no to the rest. I need to assign some responsibilities to my wonderful spouse and try to to care how he gets them done.

I need to work a deal with my employer to cut my time at work. I need to clear out old clothes, I need to give away our double appliances, I need to clear out the cobwebs, I need to fix those things that need fixing, the towel rack, the receptacle cover the kids book shelf. All of these things will help me limit the self talk that says "why can't you just get it together"

I have been saying that to myself all year and it is just time to STOP. I am a busy woman and I like it that way. that is the way I am most productive. I have to learn to delegate and deal with it. I have to learn to let some things go. there is no reason I can't have things just the way I want. There has got to be a way to get it to all work together and I tell in 2009 I am going to find out!

I'm doing much better this year for Christmas than last Christmas I have a few t-shirts to pick up and a gift for my 7 year old nephew (if you have any ideas let me know)but other than that I am almost done!

I will be mailing out my out of town gifts tomorrow. Unbelievable! I'm feeling pretty good. And best of all I'm not even out of money yet which is awesome since this is where I usually have to perform some creative financing to get everything paid for. then I go crazy getting everything ready for our taxes so I can pay a few things back.

NOT THIS YEAR WOOT.

SIMPLIFY

Busted - yet INSPIRED

2008-11-26T20:19:00.000-08:00

Holy Crap did I bust my arse today or what. It was non stop from the time my feet hit the floor this morning till now. Late and tired and crabby.

I don't have too much to say except I am pooped.

I was inspired by a friend today. She was feeling isolated and disconnected and decided to do something about it.

she is throwing a Gift Wrapping Party. What a great concept. Everyone brings a roll of wrapping paper and a few gifts to wrap. the hostess supplies some nibblies and the tape tags and such.

What a great way to connect with you peeps and get some very important work done. I am so freakin proud of her.

Goooooooo A!

Also I managed to get 30 happy holiday cards done for Bugaloo's class so he can hand out holiday cards yippee.

Wrung out - Strung out - just plain ole tired

2008-11-25T06:44:00.000-08:00

I have been fighting the exhaustion, My life is exhausting me, my work is exhausting me. I'm finding it hard to get excited about anything. I nearly blew a birthday celebration with weekend. There I found my self on the day before the party at 4pm madly searching the city for some kind of gift for a 7 year old and a 19yrs old. I mean come on!! I am you card carrying list making Type A person how did I let this slip away. So There I found myself on Saturday night at 11pm madly stitching a personal message on a blanket to go with the diary and cool pen for the 19 yr old, just to make it special for her. And madly stamping personalized wrapping paper for the 7 yr old because I know he will think that is the coolest thing ever. And really don't they deserve it! Somehow "tired" just didn't seem like a good excuse.

I could post all day about how fed up I am with the unrealistic expectations on women today but even that seems overwhelming at this point. When did life get so complicated. AND the worst part is I know I have it really really good. Supportive family, great husband, awesome kids. What is my problem!

There are new opportunities opening up at work. I'm not sure I can push through to get there though. I know I can't keep going the way I am. Luckily just in the nick of time I found out my summer student is coming back next week for 6 weeks so I am really excited about that because maybe that will back the pressure off just a little bit.

that way perhaps I can focus on Christmas and not end up giving everyone gift cards from the drug store.

Today, it's go time! I have a doctor's appt but I also have a list of stuff to track down and accquire as part of my plan not to get caught with my PANTs down for Christmas. Wish me LUCK!

I know I can do this - GO!

Cinderella

2008-11-20T05:10:00.000-08:00

What a night. My company sponsored a client night at the theatre. We went to see Cinderella. At the St. jacob's theatre. For anyone who is local. YOU HAVE TO SEE IT! the kids will love it. We had a 4 year old infront of us who just had the best time of her life. not sure if it was the grandparents for the Princess Cinderella dress she wore. It was awesome. I wish they came in my size.

I had to leave after the intermission due to a migraine, which I have no idea where that came from except I probably didn't eat very well yesterday because work was sooooo busy. So I am online today trying to get tickets for my family because I think they will just love it.

It snowed like crazy today all I want to do is stay home.

But I am almost caught up at work and I know I will feel so much better next week and heading into the holidays if I can get caught up.

Plus we are working on some great projects at work for 2009 and I'm actually looking forward to it. There could be some growth for me there!!! yippee!

Off to work I go. If you haven't checked it out yet you should click the blinkie for ART UNLEASHED and check out the new craft forum. Lots of fun and interesting stuff going on there.

And just for my friend MVM, my husband admitted he would be in an "involuntary" residential treatment program in Mexico if it wasn't for me. I'll have him talk to the saint for you. ;)

time flies

2008-11-18T18:50:00.001-08:00

Oh my goodness it has been a few days huh?

So let's see. for those of you following my personal life DH and I had a "chat" and now we are on the same page again. I tell Men and Women are soooooo different.

I did get a few minutes to be creative. I used some cool felt embellishment for this one and added some jewels and bling to it. It still needs something. but I like how it is coming together.

Next, I finally scrapped some photos from a Blueberry Picking outing about 3 years ago. I found some really cool brads.

We had some great fun playing in the snow! It is getting colder here every day.

I am pissed off at Bell since they overcharged me for my new wireless router. Oh that makes me so mad! Especially when you ask them three times are you sure this is the amount that is going to show up on my bill????

And then you get the bill and it's $30 more! Acckk!!

I am so calling Roger's.

I got some new Creative Memories products to try out and I am so excited!!!!

I think that's all for now.

Friday Nite Lites

2008-11-14T18:57:00.000-08:00

Ahhh Friday night. Everyone is in bed. There is peace and quiet. Have you noticed the theme in my life right now. I am just aching for the peace and quiet. I just need to think, to listen, to hear!

I picked up some great papers at 2SF my favorite store. I went in there just to pick up some of my GLUE. And had two minutes to look around.....very dangerous. Tomorrow I will post the addition to my stash from My Mind's Eye. Hopefully next week I will get a project done.

Tomorrow we have a sitter coming and hubster and i are going shopping for some new dress clothes. We have both lost some weight and have not had anything new for the last 5-6 years so we are due. then we are off to a birthday party for my dearest friends husband. Well I consider him one of my dear friends too. they have always been there to support me in my life and I appreciate them alot. Happy 40th T.

It will be fun I'm sure a few beers a few shots. Good times!

Well hubby is looking pretty cosy on the couch and he has saved a spot for me so I had better get over there. Hope y'all have a great weekend!

What to do?

2008-11-10T18:25:00.000-08:00

I just ate a chocolate bar, two handfuls of large pretzles, and some jube jubes. What the hell is wrong with me???

I am stressed work is sucking, some how no matter how hard I work, I just keep getting farther behind. One by one I am closing down the extra projects that were assigned to me, but my regular tasks seem to be multipling in my desk at night. I am tired. tired of the filing tired of the typing tired of feeling like every hour is sucking the very life out of me.

I know I tend to go through these cycles and I am just in a low spot right now, this always happens as I close off fun and challenging projects and I have nothing to look forward to. I know some new projects will come along but I don't know when.

Also with out going into any details my hubby managed to be a total wenker and made a situation that was about me, totally about him and did not support me in anyway. And I have to say that this is one of those situations where it was such a small thing, but his inability to see the situation from my prespective, made me feel like he does not care and does not understand me. The worst part is I know I need to talk to him about it or it will turn into a big thing. I just don't know how to talk to him without him getting totally defensive and making it about him and not about me. MEN!

At least I ran today eventhough I did not want to and I did feel better afterwards. I know I know I am only holding it at bay because I keep pigging out. I get so mad at myself.

Hoping tomorrow night I will get some scrappin in because that always makes me feel better.

Aaacckk

2008-11-09T16:11:00.000-08:00

Can you believe I blew it already. Some how my little "insurance" post from yesterday got gobbled by blogger and now. I missed a day posting for NaBloPoMo and I want to cry.

I didn't even make it to the double digits.

I'm a blogging loser. I feel shame!

Oh well! I have a better idea! I will keep going for the rest of the month and if I make it I will declare myself. NaBloPoMo -1 Not quite as prestigious but still a success.

Heavens to betsy I'm bitter.

The kids and my babe are busy watching their clone wars or star wars animation show on t.v. so I have exactly 9 minutes left to myself in peace and quiet before bath and bedtime chaos insues. So sorry to cut it short but I'm hoping to design a quick layout or two and pull some paper before I am called out of my peaceful bliss.

Have a great week!

s

Friday Night

2008-11-07T19:38:00.000-08:00

Ahh! the peace and quiet, after a very busy week. I'm still a little keyed up because I can't believe I actually made it through. I kept my last committment for the week which was to pick up my nephew so he could sleep over at our house.

Finally I got everyone in bed and now I'm just kicking back and having a beer. Well deserved. One of my favorite movies happens to be on. Death becomes her. With Meryl Streep and Goldie Hawn. I love it.

It always brings up a good question about outer beauty. If you could have a flawess ageless appearance for the next ten years and then walk away from your life. Would you?

So far I always come up with the same answer. No way! Well except that one time I was feeling really down about my weight, my life, in a moment of weakness I probably would have made a deal.

but now I know I have earned my body. I know it sounds hokey. But it really is true. My crease inbetween my eyebrows, my laugh lines. All life lessons, all my triumphs ...ME!

So yeah do I sometimes wish I was tighter, smoother, absolutely.

I love me anyway, all of me, my tired raggedity assed self. I think a long hot bath is in order for me. Maybe Sunday afternoon. Sigh!

NaBloPoMo Post

2008-11-06T16:12:00.000-08:00

So tired. Busy day.

Can't give up on NaBloPoMo on the 6th. that would be just lame. This post in just insurance incase I don't get back later on tonight.

Am I goal oriented or what?

I know oh so LAME.

Cheers!

s

Running Group

2008-11-05T04:12:00.000-08:00

The best thing about running with a group:
They motivate you to run when you don't feel like it.

The worst thing about running with a group (for me) When someone is not doing as well as you, you have to slow down and go their pace so they don't get left behind.

I had really hoped to be moving a little faster a little longer distance. But since I run with 2-3 other ladies we have been trying to run at a pace for everyone.

I have tried running off of our preset schedule to get a long run in by myself, but someone always wants to tag along.

It's probably for the best for me, if I was on my own maybe I would push too hard to fast and end up with an injury. So I will thank the universe and just keep plugging away.

Have a great day!

Therapy day

2008-11-04T04:21:00.000-08:00

Running a tight schedule today. I have to get all the presentations merged today, get all the handouts copies and ready to go into the packages all by noon.

The Bug has therapy today so that means I'm only a 1/2 day at work. Nothing like cramming a full day into a half day.

I have to tell I am just so darn pround of that kid of mine. I can probably count on one hand how many times he has been a pill during his therapy sessions. He works and workds HARD every single session.

The ladder

The Gait Walker

And practicing at home.

So proud! Let me know if you have any questions.

Running

2008-11-03T04:44:00.000-08:00

Today is going to be such a busy day. I thought I had better get online and GIT R Done! Posting that is.

Today is a school day for the bug so we packed the library book, the homework book, the lunch, the shoes, the mitts. I hope that was all that had to go today.

Me I have a full day of work today and then a meeting tonight for my Creative Memories team. It should be fabulous! but it will be late and I always dislike those long days at the beginning of the week.

We are kicking out running program in the ass again this week, since a few of us have been sick we have kinda been loafing it for awhile, I think I have been only running once or twice a week for 20-25 mins for the past month. NOT GOOD!

So I'm sure lunch will not be pretty at the office today but we are going to do it!

So I packed my two meals, my clothes my work that I brought home, I sent the email with the work that I completed and now I have exactly 27 minutes to get dressed and do my hair and get The Bug on the bus.

Oh ya and I had better drop the Peanut at my in-laws, who knows what she would do to the house if I left her to her own devices.

I even got a chance to work on a few pages and projects last night. I'll put some finishing touches on and photo them for my post tomorrow.

I just registered for the coolest forum and YOU CAN TO Click Here, its called Art Unleashed by my new friend Karan and her friend Patti.

Have a great day!

I Love Sunday Mornings

2008-11-02T06:30:00.000-08:00

Hubby let me sleep in a little, well I guess not really because of the time change, no matter I feel like I had a little more sleep.

I think my theory for Hallowe'n candy is working. The kids are allowed one item after each meal. Yesterday they were like pavlov's dogs gobbling up their food to get the treat. Today not so much. Yesterday we didn't have an huge meltdowns so that was very nice.

However, The bug requested to bake peanut butter cookies this morning so now that we finished that they are having a picnic with their peanut butter cookie.

Now I have to get everyone dressed so we can play BINGO, my they are full of requests today!

I have to go into work this afternoon. I just really want to get caught up before this week from H E double hockey sticks (so 80's) sets in. We are hosting a seminar at work and guess who is in charge? I have final testing to complete on some new monthly reports for our IT department, plus finalize the ticket count for our client theatre night (thank goodness I don't have to do the seating arrangements)all that on top of an abnormally busy month of claims for my regular job. It never rains it pours.

Hopefully I will be able to keep up my posting for
NaBloPoMo. It's always such a fun challenge. Last year not so much. I started out well and ran into post block. this year I am going to give it a go. If you want to help me out leave a topic in the comments and I will give it a whirl.

Not that I like using the T.V. for a babysitter but I love the 20mins of peace that Toot and Puddle allow me on a Sunday Morning. Long live travelling Pigs!

Have a great day!

30 days of blogging

2008-11-01T11:45:00.000-07:00

NaBloPoMo
Join me and a few friends Tracey and Jenny as we drive ourselves insane. We are trying to fit a post a day for thirty days into our already busy lives.

should be interesting.... may require marguaritas...many.

A Rainbow Moth

2008-10-31T05:48:00.000-07:00

My children are complex individuals. We have been busy getting ready for Hallowe'en. the kids are excited and 2 1/2 and almost 5 I think this is the first year they really get it.

The bug started out with wanting to be a spikey caterpillar and then wanted to be a crysallis? that would have been a little tricky and required a LOT of explaining. Luckily he moved on and decided on a MOTH. mmmmmm... In an effort to see his vision I asked What kind of moth. His answer. A Rainbow Moth. mmmmmmmm... In an effort to seek further clarification. What does a rainbow moth look like?

You know... it has wings, with colors and fluttery.

Right I'll get right on that.

turns out when I offered him the chance to paint his own wings all was good and we have an "interesting" costume.

Here's a peek at the action.

And the peanut doing her best Jackson Pollock

HAPPY HALLOWE'EN

Still crazy busy Wednesday

2008-10-29T09:58:00.000-07:00

What a whirl wind week. On top of being sick which is totally hindering passion for life. I had/have a lot of commitments this week.

Work is crazy busy we are testing a new report format and I have to get it done by the end of the week. Others are depending on me to get it done.

I had a great workshop with my Mom's group - we did a special project I whipped up on family trees using a preprinted family tree page and the Creative Memories leaf punch. I wish I had one to show you but I had an extra person show up and did not even get to do my own :( That's okay the ones that the ladies did were absolutely fabulous I know they will be treasured keepsakes in the years to come.

Today just concentrating on getting a little caught up at work.

I also wanted to get my submission in for the 2Scrapbook Friends Design Team call . Since it is my favorite store I thought I would apply. I had a few layouts that I thought would work. Now that I met the deadline I feel more inspired so I don't really know what to do about that. Re-submit new layouts of just hang tight. mmmmm. We'll see how much time I have left before the deadline on Friday.

Hubster is out tonight so maybe I will get some time to myself to contemplate after I get the kids off to bed.

I'm really looking forward to my "empty" weekend. No real plans we'll just go with the flow.

Some fun from the weekend

2008-10-27T19:53:00.000-07:00

Even though it was raining we had a lot of fun the 2008 Murray Pumpkin Carve. Our dear friends have finally moved in to a beautiful home and decided they were going to decorate their yard with over 40 pumpkins. So this was kind of like the house warming where you invite everyone to come help you paint...but different. Everyone in attendance was REQUIRED (yes required) to carve a pumpkin. Of course this is hubby's favorite time of year so he was happy to oblige, bring his own tools and everything.

He did several some with the kids some on his own. Some how between treats and mini meltdowns I only got a photo of this one.

I think this was the Bugs pick.

Crazy busy I still feel like crap and I only have a few more days to get my design team submission together. Not sure if I'm going to make it or not.

Doing a family tree project tomorrow night with my mom's group. So exciting! Work was a total drag today it took me almost all day just to get my inbox under control. not to mention my personal stuff.

Full time work - job security and health and dental benefits are just SO overrated.

Whew - What a weekend

2008-10-26T07:40:00.000-07:00

Well Croptoberfest is over for another year.

We had a great time catching up on what is going on in each others lives. Some people have new babies others have taken grand trips to places around the globe and brought back fantastic photos and stories to share. Otherswere quietly working on Christmas cards and other personal projects for their children, parents and special people in their lives.

It was a great day to re-affirm to me. Why I choose to spend some of my spare time doing what I do. helping people perserve memories and thank the special people in their lives.

I was able to get 1000 photos loaded on my computer and made a dent in labeling and journalling around some of the photos maybe about 300 so even though the weekend was about serving my friends I did manage to have some productivity myself.

I wish I had some photos to share, but I forgot to take my camera and will have to wait to get photos from my co-host. :(

Hope you all had a great weekend with your families.

Today we are going to a pumpkin carve. It's pretty cold out so we will have to bundle up, but I think we will all have a great time.

Crazy Busy Life

2008-10-24T13:49:00.000-07:00

Whew!
I have not been feeling well. I had a small intestinal virus that kept indisposed for two days - killer. Needless to say thankfully it seems to be clearing up since I haven't been indisposed for a whole 6 hours now.

Which is good because tonight is CROPTOBERFEST. A one night one day scrapbooking extravaganza that I host with a fellow consultant. So I have been running around this afternoon getting ready. I'm not sure I have everything and I think I will be squeaking in JUST in time. I hope my co-host doesn't freak when I blow in an hour before show time. This event is always alot of fun for us and ALWAYS pulls together at the last minute so why should this year be any different.

Cheers