Being a working mom Sucks today!

I am having one of THOSE days. My kids are sick. I am at a critical point in a project at work. I am tired from being up all night with kids who "just need someone to talk to" or just want to "cuddle" that is when they are not crapping their pants or coughing so hard they throw up.

I have done 3 set of sheets in the last 12 hours. I am tired. Tired of people coughing and sneezing on me. tired of blowing and wiping noses. tired of changing diapers and sheets. tired of pretending that I am concerned about next steps in this project when I just want to sit on the couch and cuddle my babies.

I took on this extra project because I was bored and wanted to show management that I am capable and interested in co-ordinating these projects...and I am.

It just seems like something always goes wrong at home and interferes with my plans.

I finally got my computer set up so I can link into work from home and manage my email and access docs on our server and that has helped at least for today.

I still just have this guilty feeling that someone is pissed off that I'm not at work. but the reality of it is I'm probably the only one who cares.

And honestly what is most important. My Kids! period.

So I guess I just need to get over it. anyone have some inner peace they can share with me today?
-

New Product - Illness B Gone

I wish!

Today the bug woke up with Laryngitis, which required some serious fancy footwork on my part. Our babysitter has not been feeling well and so I just could not send him to the sitters or when I knew he was dealing with something. School was not an option because we just got a nice note home from school saying, " For shits sake people quit sending your sick kids here" Well that's not actually what it said. I may have paraphrased a little.

However, hubby was only too happy to hear of my emergency and come to my rescue since he is stuck working outside today and it is a balmy MINUS 22 degress here in our winter wonderland. Can you say darling you saved my life.

So I have a few minutes here before he gets home and then I am off to work where I will have to put in a few extra hours tonight to off set my late start this morning.

I hate when mondays start this way!

How about you? A smooth monday or a rough monday??

-

AFOs appts and work

I feel like I am having such a hard time. I am just home early after having to take the bug to therapy and now I found out we have an appt on thursday at 11am to get his new afo's now I have to go tell work that I will need thurs am off so I can take the bug to this appt. I would ask hubby but he is home today sick and even if he is feeling better he won't be able to take the time off to take the bug to his appt. I guess I will just have to bite the bullet and ask for more time off.

I'm having trouble making up lost time as well. We have had so many weekend obligations. I guess i will just have to bit the bullet on that too and say no so I can go and make up some hours.

Bug is excited though because his new AFOs have soccer balls on them. whoo hoo!

Happy Days for my pals in the states. A whole lot of hoopla going on over there.

I truly hope there are good things to come.

-

What am I worth?

The job search has happened upon me once again. A great job ad appeared in our local paper this weekend and I would be a total DUMBass (again) if I did not apply for it.

It is probably a payscale higher then the job I have now, but similar to duties I have done in the past. So the big questions is what is my salary expectation? In this case i believe more than my current wage is warranted. But how much more???

My experience has been if you do not provide a number on your inital letter... you do not get a call for an interview. So I have to come up with a number.

So I used a little program you can find called Pay Scale which you can find on Workopolis.com. So you plug in your info and the job info and it gives you a range.

In the end I gave a range that was between 25% and 75% of the Pay Scale range. the beginning of the range was just a bit higher than the average wage for this position in my city.

I hope I did not just price myself out of this job.

I am assuming they are willing to pay as they asked for 8 years experience and there is no way you are going to find too many candidates with 8 years expereince that are willing to work for peanuts. (I hope)

Please Please Please let me get a call and at least get an interview.

This job has many of the things I am looking for :
More money
more challenge
CLOSER TO HOME (major major one here)

So keep the fingers and toes crossed. I hope I hear from them before the end of the week. that would be FANTASTIC.
Do you

Change

Yesterday, a co-worker, someone I have worked closely with in the past, someone I considered a friend, someone whose opinions and ideas I respected left our company.

We received a brief email that this person was no longer with the company and that was it. Bob's your uncle!

So I have struggled to reconcile this loss in my life. It's not like we were best friends in fact in the 6-7 years we worked together I never once contacted them in anyway other way then company email and phone number. We never once saw each other outside of a company function.

But for some reason I am sad and feel discombobulated. this is one of those uncomfortable changes in life. It's open ended, no resolution, no goodbye.

I was able to send a brief note with someone that I knew would see this person and that will be the end.

I guess I am feeling the loss of displaced friendship I had, now who will I be able to chat with and make fun of my co-workers with, let off steam with?? but it is not like we were friends in the traditional sense of the word, we shared very little personal information with each other.

I really appreciated this persons ability to think and create ideas, to bring people and ideas together, to think outside the box. I will miss the big ideas.

Strange these relationships that we build. So this is the best I can do put my best and heartfelt wishes out there and hope i hear soon of fantastic things that happening out there because this person can be such a brillant star.

Cheers my friend. It was a wild ride.

-

Hi It's me ... DumbAss calling.

Every other Wednesday night me and a few co-workers stay at work a little late to do some scrapbooking. It's really nice to get a chance to chat with people from other divisions and share our passion for preserving memories.

Tonight there was only 3 of us so we did our thing. chatted a little and then called in a night a little before 7pm.

tonight I put my things in the car, started the car grabbed my scraper and checked the door lock to make sure all the car doors were open. I proceeded to scrap all the bloody snow off my car and clean the headlights and tail light in preparation for the drive home.

finally I reached for the door to put the scraper in and it was stuck. CRAP it's a lot colder then I thought. I walk around to the driver's side and pull the door.

OH SHIT... yup you got it. I fucking LOCKED it. DUMBASS!

Trudge back to office. Swip Key, enter password, climb stairs. Call darling husband.

Hi it's me DUMBASS calling. Can you come and get me thanks bye. PS I love you!

Score one point for husband.

-

Everyday crap

Whew a whirl wind of activity this weekend, no one and I mean NO ONE sleeping in which ticked me off. Come Monday a totally different story. How could my sweet little babies have turned into full fledged wake up early on the weekends, sleep in on the school day kids. Ack!

Our house is a complete disaster. I mean a top to bottom mess. I would take pictures to post but I don't even know where to start. If you could see me I would be shaking my head.

I have managed to free up a few hours so, here's my plan, A blog post complaining about my messy house and a few loads of laundry so I can have new clean sheets on my bed.

Ready Go!

-

What's on your mind?

I have so much stuff on my mind these days.

We have to renew our mortgage soon and I am constantly thinking about what type of mortgage to get, whether or not to stay with our bank, who is a pain in the arse most of the time. I never find them imensely helpful in any capacity. They telemarket twice a month to see if we are interested in critical illness insurance which we already have WITH THEM. But I have to do my own research and go to them to ask for a better rate on my credit card or account with lower fees?

So there is that.

I have to start considering our next options for the boy since he will require some type of surgical intervention in the next year or two on his hamstring and achilles tendon.

My co-op student finished her contract at work so I am on my own until May when hopefully my manager will approve hiring some more help for me this summer. I feel like there is going to be so much work to do and not enough hours to do it in.

What am I going to make for dinner the daily constant.

oops gotta go the girl is creating havoc in the sleeping house.

What's on your mind?

-

Super powered hearing and other intuitive powers - A story

There is a phenomena, most of you know of I'm sure. Think back to your childhood. Saturday afternoon, your dad or grandfather was SLEEPING in the la-z-boy, watching something like Blazing Saddles AGAIN. So you quietly sneak up to the TV (before remotes were common)and turn it to the OTHER channel (because we only got two) to watch cartoons. Immeadiately your father or grandfather would awaken and declare " I was watching that". Huh?

Now if you lived in my household you would smartly quip back "how? through your eyelids?" To which the reply would be, "turn it back or else?" I think the or else was going to your room. I never tested it.

Tuesday I witnessed a similar phenomena while I was home with my sick child and the oldest was home his off day of school. the two of them would sit quietly, intently watching a movie or a cartoon show... until I picked up a book, magazine or the computer to do my own thing. The suddenly, my attention was required for a dozen seemily do or die requests, read to me, fix this, help with the puzzle. Are you kidding me. 5 minutes into this emergency activity and they were hooked on their "show" again. I re heated my coffee picked up my book and WHAM! The minions were back.

For all the is considered holy and sacred in this world and any other....

Give me a moments peace will ya!

Have you come across this phemonena in your household??

-

John Travolta Do we really need to know?

Can I just say....do we really need to know.
Thispopped up yesterday on my yahoo news.

I turned on the TV last night and there was Mark Steines from Entertainment Tonight, station in Florida, ready to provide me with the "lastest" upto the minute details of the Funeral arrangements for Jett Travolta. I felt the bile rise in my throat.

I'm in a paradox (is that a correct way to say it) on one hand if it was John Travolta's arrangements I may have a morbid curiosity that would make me look for this type of information.

But this is his CHILD, so I find myself revolted by the fact that we can't just let this family be, to grieve and handle their arrangements without press releases, statements, and decoy hearsts.

I buy the magazines (although not this year 2009 magazine free Day 7), I read the gossip blogs and watch ET. This has gone over my line I do not feel good about this.

My heart goes out to this family as it would for any other family that has lost a child. As much as you want to know information, sometimes its not for us to know and that needs to be OKAY.

-

New Buggy to Push

Seeing as how I was off today I decided to do one thing that would make me feel productive about my day.

I have been trying to search for a new stroller for us. Although the BugaLoo is doing fantastic with his therapy. Even though he is getting stronger and stronger and walking longer and longer. Even though he rarely uses his walker at school anymore (except on those days when it's his turn to take the attendance to the office). There are times when having a stroller for him would make his day and ours more enjoyable. Anywhere there are long distances between destinations, for example; the parking lot and the hospital where he receives his botox injections, the fairgrounds in my hometown, the museum, large all day events like picnics or when we took him to "A Day out with Thomas"

So I started looking today and I really like This Baby. Not sure how economic it will be to ship from the UK but I will check into it. I also found This which will work great and can hold a maximum of 110 lbs.

Time to get dinner started.

Work Guilt, Home Guilt it's Everywhere!

I'm home today with a sick princess peanut. she is prone to the croup, but she has had a cough for about two days now, last night a fever turned up and today she is coughing more. So I decided to stay home from work to keep an eye on it. I would be really upset if she ended up with pnuemonia because I didn't keep an eye it. Guilt number one.

Now I feel guilty for taking time off work and it's only the 6th day of the year. this is not starting off well. It's that working mom dichotomy. Doesn't matter what;s going on GUILT.

So I am going to stick with my word of the 2009 which is ONE. I can only make ONE decision at the time and I need to focus on ONE situation at a time. I have no control over anything else. I have to do what is best for my family. I just wish I had a little more confidence in my decision and alot less GUILT.

How do you handle these situations??

What's your word.

My friend Ali see link at the side. Has this great tradition. Choosing just one word and using it to help guide you through your year.

I thought my word for 2009 was going to be simplify. it certainly describes what I need to focus on for 2009. For some reason it just wasn't sitting well. It didn't make me sigh with contentment. It didn't give me that "feeling".

Then it came to me the other night. maybe a little late for the new year but close enough.

ONE

As in One thing at a time. I need to focus on one thing at a time. I'm hoping this will help me be less scattered.

Welcome 2009 - I've been expecting you.

I hear so many people say they are happy the current year is over and they are looking forward to starting another year.

Last night at the party we were attending, I finally heard the opposite argument. At 11:45 as we were pouring champagne, My dear friend exclaimed that she wished 2008 could last a little longer, it flew by so quick. She is not looking forward, she is happy and comfortable just where she is. 2009 represents her 39th year. You know...that critical year before 40 she explained. you know.... 40 when you are supposed to have it together and be a grown up. She is just not ready!

So as everyone else cheered and welcomed in the new year. We hugged and let out a collective sigh and I agreed I would support her as she does her best to get her shit together and become a grown up. I also let her know that I would support her on those days that are sure to come... those days when you definately don't want to be a grown up.

In the end she agreed 2008 was so great 2009 would be too!

Try to be kind to yourself, make your expectations realistic, be happy where you are, knowing that all too soon it will change again. Stay flexible and take it as it comes.

I'm one of those people who always looks forward to the new year, I guess it's when I give myself the gift of forgiveness. the one time a year I let myself feel my accomplishments and forgive myself for whatever I didn't achieve.

I'm a list person so I love taking the time to write out what I want for the new year. Health, time, new black leather boots, you know.

All I know for sure is right now I am so thankful.